Why do guys come on really strong in the beginning of the relationship and then back off completely?

I was dating a guy and he seemed super in to me. I don't think it was about sex because we were having sex long before he asked me to be his girlfriend, and we didn't have sex every time we saw each other (only like once a week maybe). He asked me to be his girlfriend, introduced me to his friends and coworkers as his girlfriend (I didn't pressure him for a relationship at all), texted and called every day, and chimed that he felt so much for me and that it was love at first sight (by his body language he seemed to actually mean it). He told me he loved me after only a few weeks of dating. He said he wanted to do long distance when I go off to school and he wanted to try to be together for a long time. Then, he started making lame excuses as to why he couldn't call right now or couldn't see me. We'd make plans and he'd forget about them. I always asked why every time he did one of these things, and he eventually broke up with me, saying I nag him too much and he wasn't going to make a relationship a priority at this age. I'm just confused because it seemed like he really liked me and the last time I talked to him he seemed so over it, and said I'm moving on and have no intentions of getting back with you


Most Helpful Guy

  • He got bored and lost his attraction for you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You had sex with before even establishing a relationship, and that is far before way too early. Yes it was about the sex otherwise he wouldn't have just stayed. The problem was, you didn't give him a reason to keep pursuing you anymore. To fight for it, to prove himself. Nothing. He got lazy, and is bored as well as uninterested. And I believe you just need to stop denying it and accept the facts. And it was only a very short relationship but it wasn't about sex? Um, it doesn't matter if it was only once or a few times throughout the months, he's bored with it. And that was something both you and him did on your own. Never play the blame game. Both of you equally made this relationship go sour. And it was just best that you two parted ways for good.

    • He agreed to the relationship after we had sex... and then we only had sex after that and he had the opportunity to try many times. If he was already getting sex and I wasn't pressuring him to date me, then why would he ask for a commitment?

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    • Yeah I get he doesn't like me anymore but it's just harsh.

    • @Asker Just be more wiser and learn from this mistake and lesson. Don't repeat them, and you will find somebody who will respect your boundaries.

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What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 3

  • U didn't do anything wrong. He's prolly not interested in you anymore. Dear he's not worth of your time. Plus he only loved you for few weeks? what the hell.. a guy should be in love with their significant other every single day. Its like he only loved you when he felt like doing it. Smh

  • I think he wanted to continue getting what he wanted so he pulled that sort of scheme.
    This is why you need a man and not a boy.
    I like men that are straight up with me, if sex is all you want then say it.
    Who knows... maybe i'll just want the same thing?
    No need to act attentive, and sweet just to get what you want (as long as you want it) then disappear.
    I think you're better off moving on than trying to decipher his crappy behavior towards you.
    The fact is, if a man wants you... he will have you.
    NOTHING will stop him.

    • Being "needy" or wanting answers will further push him away.
      I'd delete his number and move on.

    • I know, I've realized he doesn't want me... and I am moving on I just am still confused

  • Sounds familiar to my situation, he is immature, and not worth your emotions. Move on to better and BIGGER men girl.


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