Fiance broke up over text. What to do next with myself?

We have been engaged for 4 years. It happened so randomly, in the morning he said 'i love you' and in the evening he said 'i dont think i love you' ... I didn't react to it much at first and the convo ended with him saying he needs time to think and its 'up to you' followed by 20mins later him saying 'you can talk to my mom if you like'. I blanked him for a whole day and he pops up again saying 'are you calling me off witheld' i replied with, why would i call anyone who doesn't love me... he said 'true' i goes whatever and he goes 'it's over' in that split second, he tries to say its cause of differences, he said i hate his family (I know his mom doesn't like me much). That same day he said it's over, he said I could call and he started saying he's been thinking about it for a long time and finally he's being honest. I could put my hand on heart he still loves me, this all happened on a Friday. On the Tuesday during that week, one day off during that week and he always wants to be spend it with me, he was supposed to go training and WANTED me there (company paid for everything) (meaning that he would spend the whole day out working and wouldn't get a chance to see me, he declined the training) THAT same day he spent over £90 on food, just randomly and I said this one 'I feel hot' he went and brought me a fan. He always used to care for me and ACT (anyways) like he loves me so much. He always used to stick up for me and was USUALLY a selfish person, but not when it came to me, he always put me and my needs first... He now is talking to another girl, he even told his sister to start communicating with her. When i saw him (we spoke for about 3 hours, relaxed environment, when his family walked in they felt the love there) I asked to see a picture of her and he showed me and said 'shes not as pretty as you'. The way he was even saying 'i dont love you' face-to-face seemed fake, he was smiling, hiding behind the covers and so relaxed. He kept saying he doesn't want to lose me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Heal and move on and never look or go back


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's really cowardly to do something that big over text.

    I'm glad you guys finally talked in person, but his hot and cold attitude is kind of annoying, and giving you mixed signals. He says he doesn't want to lose you... but he's still breaking up with you and is already talking to another girl?

    I think he might want you in his life, but not as a romantic partner. Also, yes he might still have feelings and love for you, but at the same time he doesn't want to be together anymore, so I'm not sure how much that matters.

    Sorry you're going through this, but if this is really what he wants, then I think it would be best if you cut contact with him for a while and work on moving on.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just cry, and let your tears out. It must be a very hard situation. Its very strange for him to act that way.

    Is there any possibilities for you to make him confess what he has done? He might hide something and too afraid to tell you.

    It must be really hard, and I believe you are a very strong person that could handle this situation.

    Just do your best to get to him, and make him explain the reason why. If it still does not make senses, you could try to figure it out why.

    If you have tried and feel its useless, then let him go. I know its really really hard. But I think, no matter what he still loves you and you still love him. He can't just forget 4 years relationship that quick. He might say he could, but it doesn't mean he tell you the truth.

    Try to reach out to him, but if its useless then give him a space. Just disappear, so he will start to wondering where are you, and start missing you. Beside, you worth way more than that. Guys are confusing sometimes, and we will never understand why.

    Hope everything will be okay :)

  • If he said he doesn't love you anymore why do you keep searching for sights that he's still in love with you? He said it deadass to your face!
    Even if he's in love with you it means nothing if he keeps saying he doesn't want to be with you. You have to let go off of him, you have to accept and move on with your life. Just let go girl, it's best for you

  • He's got commitment issues and if that's the case he will just waste your time with the hot and cold act.


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