I ended up agreeing to see him. He got me flowers, chocolates, and WINE.
I ended up drinking quite a lot of wine, all my feelings for him just resurfaced, we were passionately kissing, we both expressed how we love one another. We made love numerous amount of times. We got breakfast the next day, went shopping, cuddled loads, kissed, held hands. He told me again how he loved me. We talked about my social anxiety, how he feels it affected our relationship, how he feels I need to work on myself. He said that we are not together, but he will not mess around with anyone else.
I think it is not wise to trust him. I was curious had he been chasing girls, when I had a chance to look at his phone, I did. I found he was flirting, cuddling, and setting up dates with this "friend". She was affecting our relationship before but promised me he only saw her as a friend. Even though we weren't together when he was pursuing her, I feel betrayed.
He then asked me to go for dinner the next night. He talked about long term goals. He wants kids in the next 5 years, is looking for someone mature. He said to see him as his best friend, yet we ended up having sex again.
I have been through a lot of trauma in my life, I am still trying to figure myself out, my only long term goal is to finish up my degree in the next few years, which I put off for a long time. Instead of being proud of me and standing by my side, he seems to want to push me, and until I get to a certain point he won't be with me?
It was like we were back in a relationship, when we met up. He didn't contact me at all today though.
I am insecure, and confused about it?
Part of me tells me to not give up that I love him more than anything, the other part is saying go on with your own life?