How long before I should give up hope? Should I just ask him already?


Me and my boyfriend were together for 7 months and he broke up with me two weeks ago. He said he'll maybe talk to me in a few weeks but for the time being, it's best that we maybe don't speak. I'm missing him everyday and go from being so angry to so upset. It's hard. I've respected his request for space but I'm dying to know if we still have a chance. He said he's scared of relationships but he said we get on so well, he can't deny that. He's away to have a serious think about it and will let me know his decision. He's blocked me on Facebook but not whatsapp or normal text. Is he likely to come back? Should I ask him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • give him his space. pressing the issue will probably only push him away more

    if i were you i'd try to move forward with my life. don't wait on him. if he comes back then you have something

    as the saying goes, 'If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.'

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Most Helpful Girl

  • To me it's already a done deal. How can there be a chance for you guys if HE was the one that not only chose to end it, but also prefers space with no contact? That doesn't sound like a compatible partner or someone that wants you back. He also said he's scared of relationships. You should want a confident partner, not one that doubts, and could shake up the relationship for the worst. So, to me, it sounds like he doesn't want a relationship, whether it's with you or somebody else.

    Though, I also have some suspicions. If this was a sudden breakup, and there were no problems that built up to it, I wonder if he was interested in somebody else, and said that he might contact you in a few weeks as if he's using those few weeks to test the waters somewhere else, and if it doesn't work out, then he'll contact you like he said. Just a thought.

    Also, you guys may have gotten on well, and that's great, but that's still not enough. For some other reason, he didn't feel that was enough and felt compelled to break it off.

    I think when it comes to break-ups what people fail to understand is that they really need to allow themselves to grieve and through the processes of healing and learning to live without that person from an intimate relationship. It's like people fear moving on becuase they're so busy looking back, wanting back what they lost. This is not something you will get over overnight.

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    • It got quite complicated! My family thought he wasn't treating me right. We had decided to take the label off of our relationship and slow things down. We were still seeing each but mostly for sex and my mum and cousin thought I derseved better. This led to them sending a message on Facebook telling him to back off. He then told me it would be best if he left me aine if I was that upset. To say I was angry is an understatement. He said he needs a serious think about it and when he had made the decision, he will do the right thing. Still waiting now for his decision. He told me not to be annoyed at my family for getting involved because they done the right thing opening his eyes to they way he was behaving.

    • Thanks for the additional details. I'm not sure if what your family did was right, only the sense that this was YOUR relationship and that it should have been you to make all the decisions for yourself. However, MAYBE in some ways, them stepping through might have been for the best, becuase the relationship didn't seem to progress or go anywhere besides just having sex. You need more than just sex. You guys gotta talk things out, get along, and establish some type of common ground.

      But I can see why you want to talk to him more, now that you gave some backstory to it. All you can do is ask. That's the only way you'll know.

    • No problem! I'm sort restricted to so many characters in my initial question so I tried to keep it short and sweet. My family didn't think I would sort it myself and decided to act. We got along so so great and we had so much in common! We were so comfortable with each other. It was great! I'm so scared of asking him but I need to know one way or another! I miss him so so much and I just hope he misses me too but I've heard it takes men longer than women.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Well it has been a few weeks and like the other guy said its about time he should talk to you again and you guys need to figure out whether your relationship is going to work or if it's going to end. Leaving it open and dragging on is not going to do any good

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    • I feel like I've given him loads of time to think about things so I'm definitely gonna say something in the next day or two and find out either way.

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    • Yeah and you should get that answer too

    • I intend to! Just need to figure out exactly what to say!

  • Just ask him, it's already a no and you can get some closure. No closure is a terrible thing trust me...

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    • *sorry badly worded

      It's a no at the moment but there is a chance he might be willing to go again, either way you can get some closure.

    • thanks! I just feel like a need some closure

  • We always come back. Just do you for right now. I will bet my bottom dollar he will be back in one form or another.

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    • Do you really think so? I have tried to move on (not with someone else) but to put him out of my head. It's hard. Been nearly three weeks of no contact. Wish I knew if he was missing me or not

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    • I tried to send you a message there but it won't let me. I was hoping for some advice from you once I told you the whole story rather than type it out here?

    • Really hold on maybe it's something with my settings

What Girls Said 2

  • If you haven't talked or communicated for two weeks, you should call him. At the very least he needs to let you go. It's not fair and if he has cares at all about your feelings he'll be straight with you. If he can't, he doesn't and you need to reconcile that fact (his selfishness) on your own.

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    • He has been straight with me about other stuff so I do think he will be. I'm just so worried about what to say to him.

    • Tell him you love him but if he doesn't want to be with you, he has to let you go so you can move on with your life which at some point will include dating again.

    • That's a good idea! Thankyou!!

  • In all honestly I wouldn't hold onto someone who has already let me go. Move on with your life, if he wants you back then he'll " catch up".

    If a guy was indecisive about being with me then I'd make the choice for him by moving on. Regardless of how much I still loved him and wanted him.

    Sometimes in life you have to look after your own heart , because people can be reckless with with your feelings, by putting their own needs and feelings above yours.

    You are respecting his space, but he isn't regarding your feelings at all. I wouldn't tolerate anyone disregarding my feelings.

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    • I know you have a point but I feel like I need some closure one way or another.

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