My husband called me an ugly fuck today. All because his dad put on a bbq but I had to put my son down for his nap just at around serving time. He thinks I did this on purpose or that I should be at the bbq and keep my son awake, knowing full well he will cry and cling to me because he's tired. Surely it should be me who's upset about missing the meal? He's ignored me all day, because this morning he wanted to go to his dad's house with our son even though last week we agreed we wouldn't take him there until the baby gate arrived - the house is half built and lots of open stairwells etc. Because I reminded him of this he kicked off and now I'm sat in whilst my son is sleeping feeling incredibly bullied and unsupported. It's been like this since I fell pregnant. And at times I've wished nothing more but to leave him. But I worry about my son. And what I would do to be honest, being a single mum. I've tried talking to him but it's useless. He's sorry one day then abusive the next. We used to have a lot of chemistry but now we can't stand each other. Today's the first time he said anything about what I look like, normally it's about who I am.
Most Helpful Guy
Life is too short to be so stressed by abuse with it making you feel like you are a cat on a hot tin roof.
You need to decide what you really feel for him
If you still love him and want to be with him, you need to sit down with him and be open and honest, laying it all on the table. In the process of suggesting this to his reaction if he agrees to it use his reaction as a way to see where you really sit. If he is resistant or shows no willingness to listen then you know there is no future and it is time to go. Not just for you but for your babies as well.
if he is welcoming and shows a willingness to listen and change then make plans to get through together. Make a promise to yourself to real fight to save the marriage and tough it through. Also, look to go to counselling to have a third party mediate between you two and find some resolution
Good luck to you0
Most Helpful Girl
UGH! You're husband seriously doesn't get it does he?
When kids are on a schedule, they are on a schedule! And most likely it's going to be YOU that has to deal with the crying baby who is grumpy for missing his nap. I don't think he is thinking this through.
Young children NEED their sleep. If they don't get it, then they are going to be miserable. You are not rude for putting him into bed at the serving time. He is being rude for being mad at you for taking care of your son.
Maybe his dad should have had the BBQ earlier or later so that you would be able to eat with everyone else.
I honestly don't get people like your husband. Why can he not be caring and supportive towards his family? I'm sorry but kids do not follow his plan for how things should be. Kids basically do what they do. But I agree with you, your child needed their nap!
This is definitely an abusive situation. He's making it all your fault, when in fact it's just how things are. If he wanted kids, he has to realize that kids need naps. Kids are not going to be well-behaved all the time. Sure sometimes kids won't go down for their nap, but you are just trying to do what is best for your child.0