I recently got diagnosed with cancer (a few months ago) my ex and I have had a turbulent break up about 7 months ago.
him being cold and moving on (rightfully) and me not handeling it at all and breaking down on him every few months (horribly) guess everyone handles it different.
nothing like cancer to snap you out of it - but I still feel so ashamed over my behaviour and I do still love this man and would do anything for him to at least see me in a positive light again especially now - it's just so far gone.
i asked if he would call me as I had something to tell him, he called once but I was in a meeting.. So I asked him to call later which he replied coldly that he was busy so I told him it was fine to call when he had a chance.. This is a week ago now so he clearly isn't going to call or doesn't care what my problem is (which hurts already)
should I stop being selfish and not tell him and just let him hate me and move on.. Or is he being cold because he doesn't know what I want to talk about and is scared I will get upset again? (I did put in the message - it's not about us just have something I want to tell you in "person")
what at can I do here? :(
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, reassure me you're gonna make it. I really hope you do! If you can win that fight with the cancer start it. Do WHATEVER IT TAKES to survive. WHATEVER IT TAKES. Fight your cancer and get healthy. Now concerning him: tell him of it. Tell him how long you had it. Tell him it starts to hurt. The fear of losing you shall be scary enough to melt the ice. It could even show he still cares about you and loves you. You can try to still work things out. "should I stop being selfish" You can't, because you con't stop something you haven't started. You're not selfish at all. You have your life and your problems, like everybody else! Stop blaming yourself! "I do still love this man and would do anything for him" Tell him that. Leave a message if necessary. If he feels loved and knows you're in danger he should be really worried. I would be, even if I don't love the person myself. The care combined with the cancer are shocking. I do believe you have a future together, I do believe you can work things out. But for that future to happen you need to survive. So with all the righteous hope of having him back (which you deserve), go kill your enemy, that cancer. Do this for your future. Fight on, fight on bravely and heal. Not on your own but get to a hospital and make them save you. Have the attitude. You deserve to live, and you deserve to be happy. I'm mentally with you, and if you want to know prayed for you. Healing can be hard. But it is the path of life. Your family, medecine, shall support you on this path. But you must take it yourself. Good luck.1
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, I'm so sorry about your situation. Please try to stay strong and use this as a chance to really seize the day. Start knocking some things off your bucket list. <3 I'll keep you in my prayers.
Truthfully, I don't think you should tell him and I am saying this with your best interest in mind. He's your ex and although you haven't been able to get over it for months as you say, your struggles and problems are no longer his struggles and problems. So for you to be pulling empathetic stress out of him when you can clearly see that he does not feel as strongly for you is not a good idea. There's a likelihood that it's only going to maximize your heartbreak when you don't get the caring, concerned reaction from you that you'd wish for. I have to be honest: You are being selfish and almost subtly manipulative. It almost sounds like you want him to be scared of losing you and come back to you or something. It's a really horrible idea to try to make a support system out of a cold ex who's already not displaying signs of interest in your life or concern for your wellbeing. :/
I think he's being cold because he's trying to move forward from you and give you hints that he's not interested in being involved in your life anymore. I know that sounds harsh but it's important to accept it and start relying on your real support system. The last thing you need right now is added heartache so why even embrace a situation where you're likely to receive it?1