Cancer: telling my ex?

Anonymous
I recently got diagnosed with cancer (a few months ago) my ex and I have had a turbulent break up about 7 months ago.

him being cold and moving on (rightfully) and me not handeling it at all and breaking down on him every few months (horribly) guess everyone handles it different.

nothing like cancer to snap you out of it - but I still feel so ashamed over my behaviour and I do still love this man and would do anything for him to at least see me in a positive light again especially now - it's just so far gone.

i asked if he would call me as I had something to tell him, he called once but I was in a meeting.. So I asked him to call later which he replied coldly that he was busy so I told him it was fine to call when he had a chance.. This is a week ago now so he clearly isn't going to call or doesn't care what my problem is (which hurts already)

should I stop being selfish and not tell him and just let him hate me and move on.. Or is he being cold because he doesn't know what I want to talk about and is scared I will get upset again? (I did put in the message - it's not about us just have something I want to tell you in "person")

what at can I do here? :(
Updates:
+1 y
He did call me - guess he didn't realise what I wanted to say. The conversation was really nice as he warned up and just talked to me like normal for the first time since a long time.. I guess focusing on my breakup let's me ignore the cancer a bit. I know it's not healthy.. Also now a bit sad after we spoke normally that he isn't doing more.. I guess I played It down when I spoke to him as I didn't want to seem manipulative so said I had lots of people around me and was keeping positive!
+1 y
Guess I just wished somewhere deep down there may have been a silver lining on this awful thing and he would rise to the challenge and come back for me.. Stupid I know! But at least now I know that he has moved on and I can focus on getting this thing over with.. At least the pain over losing him won't last long when the pain of treatments sets in.. :(
Cancer: telling my ex?
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