Why is he cheating on his girlfriend with me?

NB: Don't bother writing with horrible remarks I just need some advice!

I became good friends with this guy for 3 months or so and out of nowhere he admitted he really liked me. As he had a girlfriend I kept rejecting him ( out of the fear he just wanted to sleep with me) and eventually I gave in as I started to like him too.

This 'affair' has been going on for a while but I've recently decided to finish it. I'm just wondering if its worth seeing who he chooses by giving him an ultimatum or just dropping him all together.

He texts me all the time saying 'miss you' etc. and gets very jealous all the time, but recently I was too busy to speak to him and suddenly he's posting pictures of him and his girlfriend on the internet and including her in his statuses.

I know most people will say you can't trust someone who cheats on his girlfriend, but I'm not sure if he's trying to get back at me ( he's quite fiery in personality) or just a completely false ingenuine person.

Male advice would be great. I would also like to know how he can cheat on his girlfriend if he loves her so much? and if he possibly ever really liked me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like this guy might miss you for real maybe, but you did make the right choice, by breaking it off with him. He's already made his choice, just giving him an ultimatum might get you hurt, he is still with his girl because he wants to be. Even if you told him to choose it looks like he's already made his bed, he wants both of you. Kind of a jerk thing but that's what he wants, and if he can't have both he's just going to play it safe and stay with her, give it time there will probably be another "you" he fills this gap with, some guys are just like this. He is posting more pictures of them together to get back at you for your decision, trying to strengthen a bond in a bad relationship to retaliate at you since he wants you to feel bad about rejecting him. He's pretty much putting pictures up to say, hey I'm still happy without you, I don't need you to make me happy, its not a very nice thing but lots of people do it. However one thing that comes with things like that, is they start reflecting on how bad their relationship is and then they start looking for someone new sooner allot of times or in the best case scenario they actually break it off with the person. One day the relationship will end because guys who cheat usually are doing it because they want something they aren't currently getting in their relationship. They're looking for validation or fulfillment of some need not currently being met. Honestly allot of this is hypothetical and guess work based on previous knowledge and experiences with different people. But just be glad that you ended it, being the other person can very much suck, you're happy but still longing for more most of the time, and left confused and lost because you don't know where any of this is going. He may have been genuine about liking you, but he's too immature to be of any good for you right now. Don't waste your time wanting him as he is now, if he does break up with his girlfriend in the immediate future, maybe he is doing it in thanks to you and that's all you can really hope for right now.

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    • Wow, a really good answer, I'm just wondering were you ever in this situation, it sounds like you were

    • I've been the other guy before, and I've also been the cheater but I broke it off before it went too far in both cases, the first being longer than it should of been because of other complications I care not to discus, but it was both situations were dumb on my part. You really can't help who you have feelings for though I suppose, but how you act will always define you as a person in others eyes, so all you can do is what you feel is right and hope for the best.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He and you are both cheating on his girlfriend. This is blatantly dishonest.

    How would you feel if this situation were reversed; you were the original girlfriend and he was cheating on you with her?

    If he stays with you, chances are that cheating will indeed happen to you.

    He's unfaithful and a liar. His jealousy is insecurity and selfishness. This combination is not a good predictor of a successful future.

    As far as getting back at you, most guys don't have that much emotional depth to play relational games.

    I wouldn't give him an ultimatum. Cut him off. Period. Change your phone number if necessary. He doesn't deserve the time of day.

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What Girls Said 2

  • but I'm not sure if he's trying to get back at me "

    I am all for looking into things & never excepting the OBVIOUS.. But this scenario would only make sense if he was dating YOU & posting pictures of her.

    He had & has a g.f. I really do ont see why you are even thinking about tis...

    It os ont about a rule to trust or not trust, it is that even if he wanted to leave her, you may be telling him this is the way to do it...

    You don't want him to always start looking while he has, then dumping while he gets.

    Stop the affair, & if he wants to break up with his g.f. then you can see him, but to give him an ultimatum is artificial, since he never said he wanted a relationship with you...

    He could be MadADLY in love with you, but that does not really matter, if he is not willing to do anything proper about it.

    But I do think you should end it, for you & his girlfriend even for him. ^ ^

    :-)

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  • Personally, I think if he's willing to cheat on the person he is in a relationship with, then he isn't worth it in the long run..

    Dont give him an ultimatum, koz what happens with ur feelings if he chooses his G.F over u..?! Rejection hurts no matter what the situation is..

    I know you probably don't wuna hear this, but if he cheats on her, he can most deff do it to anyone..

    Is he really worth it..?!

    Can you imagine what it's like to be cheated on? I've been there before and it sucks ass.. You can't only think of yourself in this situation koz you came into it knowing there was more then just two people..

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