I remembered every single street we walked along around that area, and the footsteps we made today [/together], and the conversations we had.
Thanks for your reply. So, while traveling, changing your look, etc. set in motion your moving on, do you remember the exact moment when you realized that you were feeling better and really getting over it?
It was all fuzzy. For the first year I could just be sitting idle in a room and every night and think about her so much and miss her so much that my face was literally throbbing with pain. I also didn't help it because I kept all the things she left behind, refused to throw them away, and kind of dwelling pathetically in misery while getting drunk every chance I could. I also tried to sleep with other women to try to forget about her, somewhat using them (also felt guilty about that) only to find I felt absolutely nothing at all for them and only missed her more.It was only when I threw everything away and moved out and started building a whole new network of friends and planning things together that I realized, one day, that she had faded to the back of my mind. I think that was a quite a bit after that happened -- this realization. I just realized I wasn't like a wounded animal at that point, but it wasn't like an exact moment where I realized I had moved on.
In retrospect when I had moved on, I realized neither of us had the emotional maturity to handle the commitment and the prospect of living together. I was immature and escalated arguments with her to the point of world war 3, and it was one of those roller-coaster relationships always going towards break-up and make-up. I was left stunned when, on the final time we had such an argument, she called off the marriage. After that I also learned never to escalate arguments, to be a bigger person even if I wasn't necessarily in the wrong, and to seek positive outcomes and cooperation in a relationship instead of some perception of total fairness. I met the one who would become my wife a few years later, and while it was the harshest lesson imaginable, it taught me how to build a peaceful, long-lasting relationship.
I wasn't asking for myself. lol. I was just asking about people's experiences with this...
I understand but running away shouldn't be the answer. Personally for me after I break up I just want to be a better me, work out, eat better, do things I always wanted to do. And that helps with the pain.
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