Was my ex stringing me along and playing games? Or was he just trying not to hurt my feelings?

My ex boyfriend and I dated for a year. He was my first serious relationship (I was 25) and we went very fast. Moved in together from day 1 basically, and he constantly told me he wanted to marry me, talked about kids, and he already had an engagement ring in mind. A week after our 1 year anniversary, he said his heart no longer was in it. Though the week before he talked about our wedding. I was devastated, and was not letting go like I should. He told me he was unhappy, and just needed space, that he wasn't looking for any relationship whatsoever, if he wanted one, it would be with me. We got back together a month later, and that lasted a week. During the time of our breakup, he told me he wanted to be friends, that he needed me to know he hadn't moved on to anyone else, and that his new friend (girl) in his home town was just a friend. He would flirt with me whenever he saw me, joke about having sex one last time, would linger around me instead of leave. I know that I pursued him, and still wanted to be with him, but the things he would say made me feel like he still cared, but timing was wrong. 2 days after telling me this girl was a friend, that I just wished he was with another girl so I would have an actual reason to be angry, he posted he was in a relationship with this girl. This was maybe 3 weeks after we ended things the second time. I am furious and heartbroken. I feel led on, that there was no reason for him to have to need me to know he hadn't moved on when obviously he had. He would get upset when I wanted to delete him off social media, he won't block me from Facebook, and got angry when I told him of an opportunity I had to move to a new state with my best friend. Why would he care so much if he was already moving on? And why put so much effort into making me think he hasn't moved on and he's not in a relationship when he clearly is? Was I reading into all of his comments and he was trying to keep my feelings from being hurt?


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  • He lied to you, he said she was just a friend while he was making ammends with you. He DID lead you on and you have the right to be hurt and heartbroken because you trusted him. Now he is posting that the is in a relationship with her- and now you are moving away and he is getting angry. He can't have both girls. He either chooses you or her, but he is WITH HER.

    Girl you deserve so much better. He is uncertain about his feelings for you. First he was smitten, then he was unsure, and then its a repetitive cycle. He is angry that you're about to leave because he won't be able to use you when he needs to. Save yourself from a heartbreak and get a man who is SURE about his feelings for you.

    • Girl thank you so much! That's what is so hard, I'm super naive and trusting, I didn't think he would lie because I'm not a liar. My head knows I deserve more, but my heart is broken. Thank you for your opinion. I received a message from a girl when we first started dating to be careful about him, that he's a liar and charmer, and I didn't listen. Im tempted to message the girl, but knows she'll find out soon enough.

    • It's all good honey, happened to me so I could relate and am warning you to let it go. If you ever just need to talk, I gotchu 👍🏾 and yes , we love we trust and we believe because we wanna convince ourselves that he's the one. But sometimes you wake up and see how he really mistreated you but never noticed it and sometimes you don't.

  • Yeah he was

    • You think he was playing games and stringing me along or just trying to keep from hurting my feelings?

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