Should I contact my ex girlfriend in an attempt to make things work?

My girlfriend and I broke up 2.5 weeks ago, we had been dating for 9 months. I'd call it mutual although I was the one who brought it up. Less than a week later she was saying how much she missed me, etc. I said I missed her too and I needed more time, I don't think she liked hearing this. Now we haven't talked since Monday and I'm beginning to think I'm going to lose her if I don't do anything semi soon. She strikes me as the type of person who would want to find someone else asap to get over me.

I am definitely not ready to get back with her as I still need more time to think. The main reason why I am torn is because I don't know if I miss her because I'm afraid of not finding someone else, or I legitimately miss her and want to be with her. The reason for us breaking up in my mind was her lack of motivation and her immaturity, although I love her because she is such a nice person. We're both in our early to mid twenties and I think it's time to be looking towards the future (job, house, etc.), not partying like we're 17.

How should I proceed? I don't know if I should text her and see if she wants to meet up and then I can tell her how I do miss her and I am just thinking about if we can make it work long-term. Or should I leave her alone and just not talk until I've made up my mind? Even though by then it might be too late.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You broke up. That's it. The end. Get over it and move on so you can find someone else.

    *insert pep talk about plenty of fish in the sea etc... Here*

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'd wait on it and make up your mind. Don't rush into a decision you might later regret because you were worried that she'll move on. If she feels the need to find someone else asap, that again shows immaturity because she can't handle her emotions on her own. It's only been a couple of weeks, it's not like she's changed in that time.. The same issues that you had which contributed to the breakup will still be there. Unless you can 100% see yourself being ok with that and being committed to making it work, don't bother. And these little things, like breaking up and then getting back together... They'll always leave a scar on the relationship as a whole.

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