My husband just walked out one me. What do I do?

My husband walked out on me yesterday

Things have been rocky for awhile and we have a one year old daughter together.

He hasn't contacted me in anyway since walking out. He has given me no explanation for it, no time frame, no certainty that this is it and we are over or anything. He just walked out yesterday right before lunch after a pretty calm argument -it was nothing compared to some of the arguments that we have had - and... that was it.

I don't know if I should call him. Or wait for him to get in contact with me or... something else.

He's been really angry and short with me for quite awhile. I don't think he is cheating but... people surprise you.

I do know that he is with his parents at the moment and his mother hates me with a fiery passion - so I imagine she's being delightful. (Ha!)

We've been in trouble for awhile and knowing that I can't force him to make an effort I've been putting in the hard yards. I've been organising time for us together away from our daughter, tried to reinvigorate our sex life and just loved on him more. I'm human so I'm not perfect and I get it wrong and get frustrated - but I've been trying amazingly hard to fix what I can in my end.

He's never said that there is anything major - or anything that he can't stand.

I am at a loss. Do I chase him... Or wait for him to come to me... I mean, assuming this isn't some silent precursor to divorce.

Updates:
So we are meeting up tomorrow. He wants to come back. We're going through a three step process. Tomorrow to confirm that we want to give it a shot, step two to talk through our issues/expectations and consider him moving back in after that process and step three - continuing council King through that.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hope for the best plan for the worst. That said what are these arguments about? Since that's the key to your problems you should investigate why these arguments are happening and ask if they are worth it. The number one problem with young people in relationships is that they argue over stupid shit and don't understand compromise or are willing to give up part of who they are to be part of the greater whole of the couple. So when a couple gets into an argument it better be over something important.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "I've been trying amazingly hard to fix what I can in my end."

    If you've put in all the effort and have really tried, then in my opinion, the only reason it's working out is becuase he's probably not trying himself, or he's really hard to please.

    I'm not sure what he's going through. I don't know what you guys argue about, and I'm trying to remain neutral here, but walking out was really not a good idea, nor is it a good sign on the standpoint of the marriage.

    If he walked out, then he obviously needs and wants time to himself. So, I'd leave him alone and give him total control and power over what HE wants to do. Right now, he doesn't want to be around you. If you don't hear anything for a week, then I'd start worrying.

    You sound like you really do deserve better since you sound like the only one to be fighting hard here.

    Give him time.

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What Guys Said 4

  • If it isn't over now it soon will be. This marriage is irreparable

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  • Its difficult to say anything without proper insight, but it sounds like some time apart possibly would both of you do some good.

    Him being calm instead of really angry just means he went beyond just being angry. Its kinda scary thing to happen.

    Anyway, my suggestion for now would be to give each other some time. Contact him in a week or so and ask him to sit down in some neutral place and try to talk about things calmly. Communication is key here. If it's repairable or not depends on what comes next.

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  • It sounds like you're making every possible effort - of course we're only hearing from you, but you've checked off all the boxes so to speak. The fact that he left is very troubling. Obviously his mother is supporting him in this decision - a very bad - one might say evil act on her part.

    First, my condolences on what may be the end of your marriage. That said, my first concern is your daughter. By walking out on you he is also walking out on his daughter. This is bad for her in a number of ways, including financially. I think your first action should be to get an attorney and take him to court for child support. He needs to be reminded of his responsibility to his child. This will also answer many of your questions about where your relationship is heading. If it was just a spat, then he'll come to you and say so. If a divorce is coming, then you'll hear from his attorney shortly. Either way you will no longer be in limbo.

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  • He must be frustrated and unhappy

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What Girls Said 1

  • You said things have been rocky, his mother hates you, he's been short with you...
    Even if you tried all those things, like you said, he didn't. There must be a reason for all of this which you left out in your explanation.

    Either he just doesn't feel the same way about you and his mother doesn't have much to do with it, or you've done something bad.
    Either way, seems like he was still around for the little girl's sake...

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