At what point in a relationship would you say is right to end it?

I know many people would say that if you don't see a future with somebody then it's best to bring it to an end. But I'm in a difficult situation really.

Me and my girlfriend have been together nine months, we've pretty much been through everything together but I think things are getting a bit stale now. But I can wake up one day and I feel like she's the girl I want to marry one day in a few years. I feel like we can explore the world, and be happy together. But then we'll argue, and I can't stand her. I see a whole different side to her that I really don't like, it's a controlling/abusive kind of attitude.

But when I think about it, all couples argue and have their fall outs and disagreements and it wouldn't be right say ten years down the line to say we've never had an argument or fallen out. But the arguments do get a little much, and I'm not one to feel comfortable in those kind of positions either..

So generally in a relationship, when is it the right time to call it a day?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If your already thinking about ending it.. then you might as well. No point in forcing yourself to stay.. its only been 9 months and your already bored with relationship? If you get bored with relationships that fast, that easily then you need to be alone for a while until you figure out what you want.

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    • I'm not bored with her, I love her to bits. I just debate sometimes whether she is the right one for me

    • If your constantly thinking that then your not sure about her or the relationship.. she's obviously not the one.. you wouldn't be debating this.. you would just know.

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What Girls Said 9

  • ok try to talk to her about this behaviour and try to settle things before you break up. I feel like guys, when things start to go wrong in the relationship or aren't perfect you guys reflect too much on breaking up than staying strong and building and settling the relationship. Talk to her and see where both of you might be able to fix things. If things dont get better or the fighting happens constantly ( every day) then maybe have that thought again. hope this helped

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    • The thing is though, I know most guys just run at the first chance, but I've been trying to fight this and hold on for quite a long time now and it's getting a little too much. Sometimes the fighting can range from once a week, to once a day. She's going through troubles and I feel if I leave, it makes me look weak, yet if I stay, she's just getting too much..

  • Love is about acceptance. For better or worse.
    If you think you can deal with the mean shit when your married than go for it. But if your already thinking about ending it, thats a sign.
    I would call it over if i can honestly say i dont love them anymore, the spark is not there. But i think you should keep it up a little longer, and talk to her about her "controlling" attitude. work it out and be happy.

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  • I think that you need to talk to her, tell her how you feel. She might be feeling the same thing and agree that it's probably for the best or she could get all controlling about it. Either way you will know because if she is controlling is she really someone you want to stay with? And if she agrees then you guys can stay friends. Either way it's probably best to discuss it with her.

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  • It's time to call it a day as soon as possible. The more time that's spent in the relationship, the more attachment builds up and the more hurt there will be for you both when it inevitably ends. The quicker it ends the quicker you can move on and get over it. You know if you truly love her, you wouldn't be planning on ending it. Everyone has their weaknesses though and maybe your standards are just too high.

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  • When the "bad" outweighs the "good"
    When you're not happy
    When you're uncomfortable

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  • I've broken up with both of my boyfriends.
    To say it simple, I broke up with them because my feelings weren't there anymore.
    When I was with my first ex after a vacation I could feel that I had not been missing him and did not feel anything for him anymore.
    With my last exam I could just feel that my feelings were faded away and I did not believe in our relationship anymore.

    Both times I believe were a good decision, because afterwards I could feel it was the right choice.

    What's important is if you still love her.
    Being with someone for a long time is tough and arguments is difficult to avoid. Otherwise something is wrong.
    Neither of my relationships had arguments...

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  • when you dont feel happy. Think to yourself do you want her right now to be with you if now then its time to calk it off

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  • (In case your skeptical because I'm under 18 don't be, sometimes younger ones see the world in a different way)
    I can understand your problem, sometimes you see him/her as the one sometimes certain things they do or say makes you stop and wonder if this is really right. Been there.. What I would suggest is to have a sit down with her and talk it out, talk to her about her other attitude, ask her why she's controlling is she afraid that you leave/cheat etc (that was my case), tell her why you dislike it, but also make sure to tell her what you love about her, be calm. And at the end of the day, if you really love her you'll be able to talk through it, and if you both are willing to try to fix faults that lead to arguments and the attitudes things will get better. The most import at question to keep in mind: "Do you really love her?" Your response will give you your answer, motivation and courage to get through this. Best of luck!

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    • She is insecure and I think she is worried I'm going to cheat, as am I with her. We both lack confidence in ourselves, but the way she acts sometimes is a bit much. Instead of asking me or thinking I'm cheating on her, she behaves like I already am doing so. We argued yesterday and she was asking me what the name of the new girl was called whom I'm supposedly replacing her for..

  • Stale after 9 months? If a relationship is stale and it hasn't even been a year, then it's time to hang it up. Either one or both of you haven't put in enough effort and it's not going to work in the long run. That's a lesson for any relationship that either of you go into in the future as well. Nine months is not a long time at all and staying together during and after the struggle is when you put your love to the test. Relationships aren't easy, but they don't have to be so hard either. There are many aspects: You two aren't compatible, you two don't see eye to eye or you two aren't on the same path. My advice: Be honest with her and move on. Find yourself and get to learn about yourself first.

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