My ex dumped me over text message in May. We were never officially in a relationship. The reason why he dumped me over text message was because he told me that we can't be in a relationship unless we have sex. After he dumped me over text, he hasn't been texting me as much as he used to and I haven't seen him since May. After having 1 month of no contact with him he recently texted me saying that he misses me and he told me that he misses how close we used to be. He also told me that he wants to be friends with me and he wants to hang out with me again. Why would he want to be friends with me and hang out with me after he dumped me over text message in May? Is it a bad idea to be friends with him after what he has done? How should I deal with this?
Most Helpful Guy
he misses you, he still wants sex, he hasn't found anyone else.
friends... maybe. depends how you feel about him and holding your boundaries.1
Most Helpful Girl
I think it's a bit over dramatic to say "what he has done" like he did something evil and unforgivable. He was being real with you, which is hard to find more often than not. He was looking for a relationship that included sex. Though, he could've been a bit more understanding rather than springing it on you (which it sounds like he did) I think his intentions were clear. It's better that he said why he was breaking up with you, rather than leaving you guessing or making up some lame excuse.
On the other hand, I totally understand and respect your decision on waiting. It just seems like on a sexual level you both want different things. If you want a relationship with him you're going to have to find some common ground, which to be completely honest I don't see happening. One of you would have to change your boundaries to meet the others criteria.
When it comes to being friends with an ex, that can be a slippery slope. If you still have feelings for him, it will be hard to go on as friends. However, if you both mutually agree that there is no romantic feelings but that you both enjoy each others company, then I think being friends would work out for you both.
It all depends on how comfortable or uncomfortable you are in the situation. At the end of day it's your life and what you want. He's made it obvious how he feels and now it's your turn to decided. No one can make that choice for you. Friends or not if he truly cares or cared about you he will respect your decision. You do you girl! Best of luck. x0