Should I break up with this guy? Will it seem like I've been leading him on?

Okay so I've been going out with this a guy for just under two months now, so not that long. However we've been really good friends for ages now (a year) and in that year sometimes we've got really close and considered going out, but I've always said no, and then it's been awkward for a while.

Beginning of this year we got really close again, and valentines day we kissed.

After talking with a friend who said that we should go out, I thought if I don't I'll never know what it could be like. So I asked him out and he said yes. It was really nice for the first few weeks, although I've always had my doubts. Although at times I did feel like I might be falling in love with him.

He's a really nice guy, a perfect boyfriend because he's really sweet and caring and always puts me first. In a way, he's too nice. It's because he's so nice and makes me feel secure that I guess I get strong feelings for him.

I guess I was attracted to him for a week or so. But for the last week I've been noticing loads of things about him, and they are all major turn off's for me, so basically I'm not attracted to him any more.

So:

*he's really nice, great personality, but kinda boring

*I'm not attracted to him

*There's no chemistry if I'm honest

*He's told me he's head over heels in love with me

*He's spent £80 on me for my birthday

Till now I haven't exactly discouraged him, because I have really wanted this relationship to work. But now I'm just not sure. Should I break up with him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • ok. so from a personal stand point I think you and him should sit down and have a disscussion together. Maybe not nessacarily a break up disscussion either because to me it doesn't quiet sound like you are exactly sure you want to break up with him yet. Making the dision to break up with him now may lead to some major regrets if you are not absolutley positive you want to break up yet. Disscuss with him how you have felt oer this past week and also tell him how you have felt for him over the past entire year, tell him about the lack of attraction you have had and how you feel that he make act a little to nice for your taste. Who knows? Maybe you'll discover somethings that he's feeling and maybe not shareing too. Or maybe you'll discover a side of him he was to timid to share with you until you talk with him about this feeling you having. then after the disscussion I would give it sometime and hopefully it works out and if you still feel this way try your best to come to a muatual agreement with him and try and stay as close as friends as you can. Al though you probably would not be as close as before and maybe a little akward at times but you will eventually overcome that obsitcal. If he is as great a guy you say he is everything will work itself out in a peaceful way and you will both either find someone new or continue on with each other. I give you my best wishes and hope everything works out for the better for.

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    • I 100 percent agree with that. I forgot to mention in my answer the lack of Attracion, but maybe the lack of intamacy on a physical nature my be the problem at hand. But I agree that there needs to be some comunacation their. He needs to know what your feeling, and have some time to dicuss those feelings your having, and also talk about how he may feel. Guys can hold things in, and woman too, but that's why a great communication in any relationship will keep things steady, and on the right path

    • Yes I'm meeting up with him tomorrow so I will talk to him then x

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What Guys Said 2

  • Truly it took me awhle to answer this question just because I feel very close to the answer. It sounds like you weren't sure of the relationship. You were kind of pressured into it from a friend, and also your doubts, and woundering If things would work out. So you decided after that, and began the process.

    Now here's my answer to your question. Should you break up? I really feel it's up to you to make that happen. If it's not the right guy for you then it's not going to, but you have to understand that at your age guys, and girls have no idea what they want. I'd hate to say this, but in less than two months how do you really know if you like this guy or not? I know you've been friends for a year, and things have gotten close from time to time, but your reasons I feel are very shallow in a lot of ways. He's to nice, great personality, but boring, what does that mean exactly? I would think being nice and caring, and a great personality would be the icing on the cake. I guss the question I'm woundering... What do you really like in a guy? Is it the bad boy personality, because if that's true. I can tell you that falls to the waist side when you star to grow up. So I really trully believe that you have a great guy in your life. Someone that loves you for who you are. How many men are like that in this world? Not very many... And it takes time to find those kinds of guys. But at the end it's your choice. You have to really look at the whole picture, and truly look at what you really want in your life, and search what's in your heart, and that for guys as well. Fallow your heart, rather than that physical part of your hormones, because those chage all the time, but what your heart tells you Is the truth.

    I hope what ever you choose will be the right path. Much love...

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    • No I'm not into bad guys, although something with a bit more spice I suppose. He's nice as in he says nice things to me compliments me, from being his closest friend for ages he's often told me what nice things he's said to other girls so sometimes it feels a bit text book I suppose. Boring because he's so predictable, I can guess when he's going to text, call, what he's going to say, I will talk to him because I guess all of this can be resolved. but thank you irs keeping me thinking about it.

    • And yes its true about not knowing what I want, I don't expect myself to know what I want right now, as you work that out with time, and its said that no one ever really know

      It does sound like the perfect guy I know, but have you ever had that feeling where something isn't right? Same as when you know something is...

      I try not to be driven by hormones, because as you said they change all the time.

      sorry I couldn't add this onto the last comment

      thanks again.

    • You are very insightful. I agree with you and I really like where you are coming form with this.

  • Thank you for your responce to my answer. Now I know why, and how your feeling. There has to be some form of exicitement, and suprice within any relationship, or as you've said, there hasn't been any of that, and that he's been so "prodictable". But anyway I hope things work out for the best, and if I were in your shoes I'd have some doubt as well, and want some more "spunk" to what he's not providing you. and those parts. People, and expeclly guys need to understand that. It's about putting forth energy, and exictment into a relationship, be "spontinous". Girls love that, and I'd bet you'd Agee with that, because your looking for those parts, and you have a right to have that.

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