23 years old, about to be divorced and depressed... help?

youngdivorcee23
I am a 23 year old girl who got married rather early. When we met my soon to be ex-husband 4 years ago I was skeptical about marriage, since my parents were divorced, my father married 3 times and all of my older female friends were divorced. However, he had grown up in a united family and somehow convinced me that marriage was a great option.

However, after marriage (and I mean 5 months after, not even 1 year), he changed. He constantly told me not to make plans counting on him, he felt I was overly attached and felt disturbed by me saying "I love you". He told me without hesitating that he would take a job in another city regardless of whether I would join him or not. He also started getting into this extreme hippie mood, always talking about smoking weed, meeting new people literally everyday (inclusively had breakfast out with another girl), obsessed with his own well being. Anything I would say or do felt like I was restraining him. This week, he just told me that he is 100% sure he wants divorce.

I am destroyed. The thought of being divorced as I had feared so much is corroding me. Because of this sudden change of heart he had, I am uncapable of trusting people. I have had 4 men this week telling me I'm beautiful, that they want to date me, make me happy and whatever else, and I feel like it's total bullshit. I feel like a piece of me just died. I cannot stand looking at anything wedding-related, children-related, etc. I cannot bear the thought of him touching/kissing a girl who will make him happier than me. That "if you love him let him go" bullshit I'm tired of telling myself just doesn't work. I'm afraid this feeling won't pass and years later I will still be crying over him and wishing we were married, holding on to his objects, his memories... I am so afraid to tell everybody the news, so afraid that this won't pass, that I will grow old watching him happy with someone else... help please! I'm in pain!
23 years old, about to be divorced and depressed... help?
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