How long does it take to get over someone? It's already been 4 months and I'm still lingering?

Anonymous
So I dated this guy for 4 months and it's already been 4 months since we stopped talking to each other.. The relationship ended because he didn't want to commit to me.. He was a very guarded person who was scared of being vulnerable due to a painful past relationship.. The 2 times I mentioned what he thought about our relationship he would tell me that he has doubts about me so he was scared to commit.. He would give off feelings of ambivalence and I always felt like he didn't really try to get to know me fully.. One time when I was crying bc he told me he has doubts, he said because I'm being very emotional right now he can't reason with me which is another added doubt. He would say things like that which sounded ridiculous.. I'm just wondering if it's normal to take this long to get over someone? I'm not sure if it's taking longer cause he affected my self worth and self esteem. Sometimes I would miss him but I get confused if it's him that i actually miss or the idea of him. Cause if I tell myself to come up with 3 qualities about him that makes him stand out from other guys it takes me awhile to come up with the answer. What do You guys think?
How long does it take to get over someone? It's already been 4 months and I'm still lingering?
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