Is it hopeless hope?

So, last night my boyfriend (ex i guess) broke up with me after ten months together. We are both only in college. I had not felt it coming, everything felt so smooth. And then he popped "I've been thinking lately, and I feel like I need to be on my own for a little." I immediately reacted with tears and hyperventilation. He seemed to suggest that we could be friends and then later get back together. Hurt, I told him that I am not the kind of girl who he can go back and forth with (I highly regret that). He kept stating that he felt he was going to regret it and that this was a mistake. He also said he still loves me and that it has nothing to do with me. I asked him what he wanted me to say and he said he didn't need me to say anything. Today, the day after, I ran into one of his roommates who asked me if i knew what was going on with him. Turns out that he hasn't told any of his roommates, and I don't know why. And it sounds like he is hurting. I am aching so much, I even have a fever. Its taking every ounce of my energy. I still love him so much. I suppose this sounds like a desperate post/ question (thats because I am acting unreasonably due to a broken heart), but is it possible that after time he might want to come back? I refuse to contact him and am going to see if he contacts me first. Is that a bas idea? He left me so confused. I don't feel it is the end of us. Is that hopeless hope?

Updates:
He did a drive by after only two days from the break up?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I get how you're feeling, but you cannot change or control other people - only yourself.

    So, here's how you handle this: you put a clock on the situation.

    You allow yourself, say, a month, or 6 weeks, or whatever. You'll put your romantic life on hold for that amount of time to give him the space he needs to figure himself out. If he manages to pull his head out of his ass in that time, and wants to get back together, fine, you can do so.

    But... if the clock runs out, then you have to write him off and move on - and he gets NO SECOND CHANCES if the clock runs out. You MUST be firm and committed to that.

    It's up to you whether or not you tell him about the time limit and the consequences - you have to figure out if it's better to tell him or not - but whatever time limit you set, you need to fully commit to it.

    The point is: you cannot put your life on hold indefinitely for someone who simply may not be on the same path in life as you are - that's a waste of your precious time. So, give him SOME time, but not TOO much, and if he can't make up his mind by then, then obviously his answer is really "no" and you can pick yourself up, accept that answer, and start the process of moving on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Let him figure out what he wants. He says he needed some time on his own so he is getting it now. He obviously has given the breaking up some thought and is unsure about it but if you reach out, it will enable him to thinking he can break up and get back together at any convenient time with him. If he still wants you back, he will find a way to reach out and show you it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you should just get a breather and come back to deal with the issue with a clear head.

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    • Ironically I can hardly breathe. Any distraction is hardly a distraction. I know I'm being dramatic but my body isn't responding well. But I suppose I won't be contacting him anyways until he decides to contact first. It's a pretty fresh break up. And I need to learn how to give things time regardless of whether or not I want to.

    • Well I wish you the best of luck.

  • Yes, it is hopeless.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he does just need time. As he said, course he feels bad or his housemates won't notice...

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