Do LDR's ever work out?

I waited faithfully for 2 years on my boyfriend only to have him start decreasing communication and then break up with me. He said that the distance was too hard and that he wasn't sure he would get his Visa, he was denied in January. He was talking about marriage and when I asked him about that right before the breakup, he said we would have to sit down and talk about it. Nevertheless, I am completely devastated. I love him and he claims I am the love of his life. He was crying and said he was confused when he called that day, about a month ago. Since then we have only talked twice and both times did not go very well. Last night I decided to cut all communication because it is gut wrenching to hope he'll change his mind. Anyways, has anyone ever had a successful LDR. Also, does how he has been acting make you think he cheated on me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's some statistics for you to comb over.
    www.statisticbrain.com/.../

    Pay attention to
    "Total percent of long distance relationships that break-up 40%"
    With the percentage of marriage that ends in divorce at 50%. You're looking at chances of success even higher than marriage

    HOWEVER! The failed visa part does correlate to the statistics row of "Total percentage of long distance relationships that fail when changes aren’t planned for" which is at 70%.

    Which means while LDRs have a higher chance for success , it is more vulnerable to unplanned changes. So while it might work it does require careful planning and contingency management.

    TL;DR
    Shit's hard.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Been there, done that, didn't work and never will. Girl I know exactly how u feel ritenow. But the truth is when 2 people enter a ldr they will end up getting hurt. Yeah some people have had it worked out but its like 1 in a million. And u know what? Its not worth it. Its not worth ur effort and time, some day u'll realize what u couldve done with all the times u've wasted. Don't do LDR people, just don't. (And how far are u 2 apart from each other btw?)

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    • I am in the South, he's in the Caribbean

    • Also, this has been just terrible and I would never do it again, ever.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I had a two and a half year LDR that ended because of religious differences.

    I wouldn't say that he necessarily cheated. No one but him can tell you what he's thinking. Being denied the visa surely didn't help. Was it a permanent denial?

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    • No it wasn't permanent.

    • I still like my ex as a person, we just weren't compatible. It's hard to figure out what your boyfriend was thinking without knowing him.

  • They can but there needs to be a firm date when you will be together and it needs to be reasonable. I'm in one myself. My girlfriend is in prison 7 hours away. She gets out June next year and I visit as often as I can. We met as pen pals

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  • i'm sure some workout. i imagine by the numbers the majority do not though

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  • it can work if your man was like me.

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  • Almost never. They almost never work. Most LDR's are entered into by people who don't understand how important the physical part of a relationship is.

    No matter how much you love someone, if there's no physical part to it, then once a person comes along who you can be physical with, they will trump the so-called Long Distance love of your life.

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