How would you feel and what would you do if your S. O. did this?

I told my guy something deeply personal that was to remain between us. I specifically asked that it not be shared with anyone. I accidentally overheard a voicemail from his Aunt who is like his Mom and she was asking him what to tell me if I called her after he broke up with me due to what I told him! The big secret was mainly about my finances which, at the time, were pretty dire and I wanted no one but him to know about it because it was embarrassing and I trusted him and confided. I never thought he would break up with me as we were madly in love and talking marriage for almost 2 years. I ended the relationship first because I was so let down and worried that he would go and tell her everything about me. Apparently he didn't want to break up afterall but now I just don't like what he did, nor do I trust him.
Also, I felt betrayed.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a sad and awful betrayal. You trusted him and confided in him. It should go without saying that this was not to be repeated to anyone else. It's not as bad as cheating, but not far off.

    What to do from now is your decision. It would take some time for the trust to be regained. You may not want to try. I can't say I blame you.

    • Thank you, I agree. Regardless of age, current financial status, the reason for the secret, whatever, In a relationship two people should have each others backs. I can see talking to a very trusted best friend about problems but not family and ESPECIALLY if your partner asks you not to.

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    • Thanks for MHG!

    • Sure thing! You are smart!

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What Guys Said 2

  • He went to his aunt for advice. No guy in his 40's is going to marry a woman who is financially messed up and deep in debt.

    • So he was looking to be taken care of? He was worse off than I was and I had a temporary problem that I fixed myself. Love and marriage isn't about money if you are both in the same boat. And why would a grown man tell his Aunt he was breaking up with me before telling me first?

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    • Well, I don't know about that for sure but he did start getting scared that he wasn't "strong enough" to come here and was worried he would be a burden if he couldn't find work. He's in homebuilding and masonry in the Caribbean and damn good at it, he woud have made tons here. But he was getting nervous about our tougher culture vs how relaxed the Caribbean is.

    • The fact that such a talented man would say he wasn't strong enough scared me even though I tried to convince him that he was.

  • Cut him out your life


What Girls Said 1

  • First off, get your story straight. The "I never thought he would break up with me" then the following sentence was "I ended the relationship first". Ummm... you sure this actually happened?

    Secondly he wasn't madly in love with you if he broke it off with you because of that or acted the way he did. Nor would you have broke it off out of fear if you were madly in love with him. I have felt love and I know how truly loving someone is like and running away isn't what crosses your mind after talking about marriage for 2 years just because of one incident like that. Maybe if it was impacting the health of one of the involved parties or both or even if it's unhealthy. But not out of fear.

    Thirdly, " Apparently he didn't want to break up afterall" which was soon after the "I never thought he would break up with me" Did he break it off and not wanted to or did he just say he didn't want to so you forgive him?

    fourthly, the "I specifically asked that it not be shared with anyone" and he still did it puts into question if he was actually planning on keeping anything between the two of you.

    Fifth and final point I need to make is your age on here says 45+. If that is true and this is happening to you, you need a wake up call. Why the hell are you with guys like that first of all. Then there's the fact that you want people's opinions about it when you should already know full well your worth. We as humans only accept the love we think we deserve and it's true as hell. I've seen it over and over and over again. If you truly want to go back and date guys like that, go ahead. But know what you're getting yourself into.

    • I never thought he would want to break up with me over that. According to the voicemail that is what he was considering. And yes, at my age trust is very valuable and important in a relationship, that is why I made the decision to end it myself. As for choosing men, he was great and yes we were in love and still are, I even forgive him. But as far as a relationship it is not a good idea to continue once trust has been broken and secrets shared with a guy's close relative. I failed to add that he had told me previously that she is the family gossip. Also, when we broke up, he told me he always confided in her which is strange for me, he is my age. Our relationship did have other problems as well, this was just the biggest one.

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    • OK... LOO

    • lol.

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