When my husband tells me "I think I can do better." Is it time to give up for the sake of my emotional health?

"I think I can do better. As far as a better connection and someone who is at the same point in life."
Is the whole thing he said.
We have been married for 5 years. We are 24 years old. We have been together since we were 15 had a baby at 17. Since I found out I was pregnant he always told me that he wanted me home with our son, so I put school on hold. I went back to school 2.5 years ago full time. I just transferred to start working on my MBA. Recently he has been wanting me to contribute more so I started making a website and adding inventory to a website for his friend and his business as well as being a full time student and taking care of our son and normal at home stuff like cooking, cleaning, laundry. He has also hinted for me to get a part time job which I explain making a few hundred dollars a week will only pay for a baby sitter or daycare for our son and that it isn't cost effective. The last time we tried to fix our relationship was maybe two months ago in which he wanted each of us to put three things we want to change about each other. The ones I put for him were for us to spend more time together and for him to actually take a day off work in hopes to reduce stress. His for me were for me to be less defensive, less negative and to go to the gym. He is the only person I have ever been with romantically or sexually. I am afraid to let go but is it time?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The relationship sounds very one sided to me. However, in your post nothing of his efforts or contributions to the relationship were mentioned outside of the three things to change. Does he do anything?

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    • He works and pays the bills which I greatly try and show my appreciation for. And sometimes attempts to initiate date nights. Mostly he just goes to work.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Um yeah, he basically told you he thinks you are not enough for him and that he feels like there's someone better than you. He feels like he can do better then tell him to go find it and get the hell out.

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    • The only issue is that we live with his grandparents (even though they have told me if something were to happen my son and I could stay) and he right now wouldn't be able to afford living on his own. Thank you for your opinion.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think its time to let go. he's your husband. In 5 years times he's forgotten your vows it seems. he's already looking if he thinks he can do better. Sorry hun. You'll find someone better

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  • Hmmmm. . . you both seem to be trying to work on the relationship, so that's positive. If I could make one suggestion, perhaps adjust the WAY you talk about improving the relationship. Rather than each listing what you want the other to do, maybe you talk about what each of you will try to change about yourselves and/or your own behavior for the good of the relationship. That may actually help because it will feel less like an accusation, criticism or attempt to control and more like a positive change you're doing because you love the other person.

    But it would also be helpful to establish you love each other, so what your boyfriend said wasn't helpful. If he REALLY means it (which he may not) that's a red flag.

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What Girls Said 3

  • :/ sounds like he's bored. So you guys need to do more or call it quits.
    personally that comment would be it for me..

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  • I feel so sorry for u but let his sorry ass go. U deserve better than his dusty ass

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  • Divorce him. He sounds terrible

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