He dumped me and asked me to do this later, what do you think he's trying to do?

I was dumped last month by someone I loved dearly, still trying to get over it. Last week he called to see if I told anyone yet, I had, but just my best friend and one of my sisters. I did not give detail, only that we broke up. He wants me to now tell others that it was mutual, not that he did it, because he feels his whole family will turn against him for breaking my heart and my kid's too. He doesn't want my family to know the truth either. In fact, he said we should now tell anyone that already knows that we are working on things and taking it slow to see how things go. He then said he wanted to try to work it out for real, so I said ok. I have been an emotional wreck and I wanted him back but now I am not so sure. By the way, working on things doesn't jive since we haven't talked in over a week and he ignored two texts I sent to him, also he became annoyed at me the last time we did speak and was rude for part of the call. I really find it alarming that he is SO worried about what his family will think about him ending the relationship himself. He is a grown man but has told me in the past that his sister told him not to hurt me AND that if he did she would never speak to him again. In addition, he has told me that he was once the black sheep of his family. He is 37, never married but has 3 kids, two born at the same time by two different mothers but I gave him a chance. Finally, for part of our relationship, he would say that he was so in love with me "right now" and that he was so serious about this relationship that he wouldn't let anything mess it up, that he wasn't going to mess up and come between us. On a side note, I turned that "right now" thing around on him one day, he was floored and asked what I meant by that. I said he said it all the time... he stopped after that day. Finally, we were together three years, had plans to build our own home and he put a lot of ideas into my kids minds about becoming a family and building us a house, devasated.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So if I read this right , he decided to walk out on you and your kids but he want the world to think it was a mutual decision !! Thus in effect laying equal blame on you for his doings.. He pretty much crushed both you and your children's hopes and dreams on his way out the door. Do I have all that correct? And do point out anything I may have missed

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    • Yes, you are absolutely correct Bryon. I was still in such shock over the actual breakup that I said OK cause I wanted him back but realizing how screwed up this all is. Especially since he's not acting like we are working on it. Have not heard from him. He could be mad because I have sent some pissed off messages, especially right after he ended it.

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    • You are most welcome

    • Thank you Ma'am

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like he's just trying to save face. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of playing you. Tell the truth and be honest with everyone.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't listen to him tell people the truth if he can't handle the things he does to others then he knows he shouldn't be doing it.

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    • What do you think about the deal with him thinking they would actually turn against him? He has a real fear of this. I asked him myself why he was so worried about them rather than us and he couldn't answer. If I was in love truly, I wouldn't care what they thought!

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    • I don't know but clearly there something he not saying.

    • True!

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