What would you do?

What do you do when the guy you were so in love with doesn't want to hang out with you or talk with you anymore? Please don't tell me to move on. I can't just turn off how I feel about this guy.

Updates:
Should I contact him or is that the last thing I should do? Ugh, what should I do?
I could stay busy and do other things... but I still always end up thinking about him. It's like I'll go a couple days without so much of a thought, and then bam, I get all nostalgic. It's sickening.
He doesn't understand how much he meant to me. That's what hurts the most.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • cause through here is gonna take forever. I can't add you cause ur private or whatever it is.

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    • Please, just do it through here with a long answer maybe 2. Thank you soo much

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    • If peopleONLY want what they can not have , then once you great someone you have to run away from them, so they will want you.

      You will drive yourself crazy & life is going to stop making sense.

      If everything ended tomorrow would yo want your last memory to be that you played hard to get?

      It's the Red Queen hypothesis. ^

    • Why do guys get scared when they see things getting serious? I'm going through the same thing rite now. It was established we were boyfriend and girlfriend but then he started pushing me away and nothing as far as major problems happened between us. I am as well wondering if he will eventually in time after he's had his space contact me again. We had lots of good times together that I know I can't forget about so how can he

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Ok well, ill try to help as much as I can as a guy. So... ok I've gone through the same thing and as you said you can't just turn off how you feel about him almost 2 years ago now I met this girl and she was my dream girl way out of my league at the time and eventually I got so close to dating her after finding out she liked me and well then all of a sudden no more contact, you see I took the route you don't want to ,just trying to forget her, and ill be your testimony for what that other road is like and still 2 years later I literary think about her everyday its like with all my heart and soul I feel this ended the right way and something would have gone wrong or at least I've convinced myself to think that, but still I miss her in some unexplainable way. I feel nothing for her but I don't feel complete so let me just rule that out for you as you already did so the way your gonna wana approach this is well you don't wana come off creepy and cry over the phone about how much he means to you but you could still use that as an option without as many tears pretty much you need a way for him to see how much you care about him without him being frightened. So I think maybe meet up with him on a casual outing and then slowly turn the conversation into how much you love him or you can just directly tell him ( but if your going to do it soo fast don't sound pathetic) So to sum it all up never give up on him! be calm but get your point across with passion, make sure he knows how you feel and pretty much tell him what you told us, you could never let him go, and even if the most unattractive girl told me that there would still be some kind of connections just because of her confidence and passion.

    I really hoped this helped if you even get to read this on time sorry its so long

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  • Do not call repeatedly. I say again. don't call again and again.

    you could hit him up maybe one time and throw a feeler out there. like "I was thinking about that one time we had that was great...remember"

    see how he responds. but if he ignores that, move on. get a hobby. do something else.

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  • you gotsta understand- he ain't giving a damn about you... He ain't thnkn about you.. why you pining over this cat? YOU'RE GONNA HAVTA MOVE ON... If not, ur gonna be sick over something that ain't ur fault... He left you- so why you all broke up about it...

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    • That's kind of harsh. I've already decided to move on. Thanks for the answer.

    • Huh? iT'S THE HONEST TRUTH

    • Depends how long she was dating him for. After 3 months of dating a guy, he went off the radar, at first I tried to contact him, and it kept backfiring, and I saw less of him. It hurt, but I gave him space, and he came back to me to say he has been really stressed at work. Things are returning to how they were now. Sometimes guys need space. Nothing you can do. They can't focus on more than one thing. Or sometimes, they are just d***s. But every guy is different. Can't judge.

  • Why don't you contact him and see what's the reason. Maybe he jus couldn't express himself or maybe he love you too but you jus didn't tell you because he was scared.. guy get scared too.. Maybe he's thinking about you right now. its better to call and find out than to not call and stay wondering!

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    • I wish that were the case but he's already told me he's emotionally unavailable. There is no possible way him and I will have a conversation on what's happened. I think I should just move on.

What Girls Said 14

  • ok this is what I did, basically ingore him for 2 weeks. If your a major part of his friends or you try to talk him alot, leave him alone for a few weeks. If he calls, answer it once or twice, make it short. Or tell him you will call him back later. Get your self out side with your friends. Get your mind clear. If you see him like in the halls or at work, do not look at him but check to see if he looks at you ( I know it hard) If he is looking at you then he is missing you. Give him some space, let him notice your gone. and then like after a little bit go and talk to him.

    I did this with a guy who told me he was not ready for a girlfriend, and like he never would talk to me, and I just started to ingore him and within 2 weeks he was trying to ask me out. Guys hate being ignored, Also Get all cute for no real reason, but do not make him think you moved on, just having some fun with out him.

    I had the guy find me after school, like jump down and over people to ask me where I had been. and Whatever you do, Do not freak out around him, seem ummm clingy... Like You do not NEED him in your life, He is nice to have around and if he can not see that in you, then why want him around ... And always tell your self, your pretty, and if he does not want so what, there are more men out there for you.

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  • I agree with Rodriguez, most of us want something we can't have.By ignoring him your doing the right thing as hard as it is to believe.

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  • you can't really do anything about it. if he's over you can't make someone be with you if they don't want too.

    trust me I been throught it with a ex of mines I was with him for a year and a half and when he broke up with me I was like devastated and I tried everything for him to get back with me and it didn't work he got a new girlfriend like couple weeks after the break up too.

    but now were good friends and we hangout and sometimes flirt as he says there's always gonna be something there between us.

    but just give it time and maybe he'll come around just don't force it,

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  • Give him some time to cool off, don't annoy him or smother him with questions or texts. The reason he is giving you the major cold shoulder is because he wants space and doesn't want you bothering him. He wants to give you the message he's not interested or showing you that he doesn't want to talk to you. Ask some mutual friends about why he's being like this, if he doesn't want to talk to you at all. Just take it as it is. Don't force yourself on him, it will just push him away further and not want to talk to you whatsoever.

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    • That's the problem. I don't get why he is treating me this way. It's unfair and annoying. I'd rather he tell me to f*** off than ignore me... seriously

    • No point in getting mad over it, it's his loss. Let him cool off and you should cool off as well. Don't do anything impulsive girly.

  • Stop being so available. Don't contact him & give him space. Trust me I learned from experience. Just act like you don't care, go out & look your best. Don't depend on anyone for happiness but yourself. You were once happy without him, you can be happy without him again. This world is full of guys & you're still young.There's a lot more to learn.

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  • I would try and give it some time... I know that's not what you want to hear but trust me I've just been dumped by the love of my life and you need to get back on track. You need to get back your independance, I know he makes you happy but you were happy before you met him right?

    Give it time and see how it goes. Right now your hurting so try and concentrate on you and what makes you happy right now... have a pamper day and treat yourself. If he sees you being happy and independant he will see what he's missing and if he doesn't then tbh is that really the guy you want. You need someone who will chase after you not the other way round.

    Hope this helps

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  • unfortuneately it sounds like silence and time would be the only key here. I do the same thing so don't feel alone. I end up making the situation worse by contacting the guy or trying to express more how I feel. It won't change anything but make you feel more sh*ttier when he does not respond or acts like he does not care, so if you want to feel worse than go ahead, but I think this one your gonna have to wait round for him to want to talk to you again and maybe that time won't come, but have hope and just try to stay busy doing other things, time will take care of the rest then one day you won't think about it anymore :)

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  • FYI JUST PUT ON UR PROFILE A FAKE NAME OR SOMETHING IF UR AFRAID SOMEBODY IS GONNA RECOGNIZE You FROM HERE WHICH I DOUBT IT.

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    • OK. Can you answer my last question though please?

  • Hey! I understand how you feel, I went through similar pain. Can I talk you through this? We can FB message each other if you feel comfortable. I'll post my email here if you want to contact me, and then I'll tell you my name through email so you can contact me on FB. God bless! :)

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  • what did he really say? how long where you guys together for?

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    • Only 2 months. It's just that I was really depressed before and I'm still depressed now. But he kind of helped me with my depression. And so he meant a lot to me and I'm eternally grateful. What he actually said was that he wanted to continue to be friends and didn't want to date me anymore (This was after I did something 'stupid'.) He didn't want to deal with me anymore. And so I apologized and he even said, you have nothing to apologize for. Then why is he ignoring me? He's not

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    • Can you give me some advice? Really, anything?

    • Add me through this thing.. I don't know how to do it. lol the chat whatveer its called

  • What did he say you did - what was the stupid thing you think he thinks you did?

    :-)

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    • It's not even important you know but a 'deal breaker'. It's funny, I think he actually liked me, but you guys are right in that I do want what I can't have. I made it so I was hard to get, and he didn't want to play that game... I guess I know now that once I'm in a relationship, the whole playing hard to get thing stops happening. Except he broke up with me, because I then became clingy, needy, desperate. I'd rather be hard to get than that.

  • ok I had the sam problem my ex is the love of my life and I didn't want to lose him but I did and it hurt so what I did was tell him how I felt I knew it would hurt but I kind of felt better after I did now were back together

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  • i know how you feel I'm going through the same thing. I know its hard but try not too contact him let him worry if you ring him or msg him he will know he has u. guys like what they can't have if he doesn't contact you he is an ass hole and you shouldnt waste ur time with him good luck x

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  • im going through the same situation, we were together 5 months and I did something to make him say he's not dealing with the bullsh*t anymore. I begged for him to change his mind and it only made things worse and he made the decision that we are not going to hang out at all anymore. I gave him space (about a week) texted him and apologised for what I did wrong and said id hate to loose a friendship over this, he was cooled down by then and said I have nothing to be sorry for but he def doesn't think we should hang for a while, but he's not going to ignore me, he said he has no prob talking to me. I told him I have no prob hanging out with him cause I'm over the situation (even if I'm not because he doesn't expect to hear that from me, he expects me to beg and ask questions). Since that one convo I texted him one other time and said I need to talk to you, he texted me 3 times before I answered, this made HIMSELF wonder what was going on and worry for once. If I were you I would give it as much time as you can and act like nothing bothers you, then once you think he's cooled down and over it maybe apologize , give it more time, and try seeing what you can do to make him wonder. I know my guy hated talking about stuff in general, so he would kinda give me the cold shoulder, maybe he thinks ur contacting him to talk about the situation.. guys hate that. trust me it DOES get easier I was very depressed and using him as a crutch as well so when he wasn't there anymore I was a mess. I'm still waiting for him to contact me I'm not sure if it will happen but maybe in time because guys are the most stubborn people ever. If he really cared about you he will make the effort, if not why would you want to waste your time? I know its hard I feel the same way..exactly! goodluck!

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    • Thank you. If you can, let me know if he ever contacts you and what he says. I'm interested to know how your situation turns out! I'll keep you updated on mine too. Still waiting...

    • Ok I will! and yes keep me posted. just try to hang in there I know it sucks right now

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