Why does my ex boyfriend hate it when I talk to his mom?

Here's a background of our story first. My ex and I have been together for 6 years, until he decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore since I have chosen a career path that he didn't agree with. During our 6-year relationship, I have grown close to his mom and have established a really good relationship with her. It's like we're friends with or without me being the girlfriend of her son. Anyway, so our breakup was pretty messy. But, we have started to see each other again.. but we made it clear to each other that we're not going into something serious yet, until we figure out what's going on between us. But, what's really bothering me is that he gets really ticked off when I talk to his mom or when his mom talks to me. Like just an example, he found out that I was her Facebook friend and he literally made a big issue out of it. Like, I was suppose to be "out" of his life already. And, his mom just asked me how I was doing and I just replied and he found out about it and GOT MAD again. Seriously, I really don't know what his problem is. Can someone enlighten me please? Thanks! I would really like to understand my ex better. I thought things were going great between us. I thought we were finally going to get past our breakup and start over and this...


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you've broken up with the man, it's going to be a strange situation for him if you remain close to his mother.

    The problem here is that the common thread linking the two of you is him, so when you two talk the probability of his name popping up as a subject is high. He probably blew up at your because the next time he spoke to his mother, she probably said, "I talked to so-and-so. She's such a nice girl. Why did you two break up?" Which is definitely the last thing he wants to hear, least of all because his mother is interfering with his love life.

    From his perspective, the friendship looks like an attempt on your part to manipulate him. If you've just reached the point where you're friends again, this looks like you're reneging on an unspoken agreement to remain close, but not too close. Being "chumsy" with his family is too close; it's an invasion of an extremely personal, intimate space. A man believes his immediate family as somewhere he can turn without being judged when he has problems with others. By penetrating that space, you're making him uneasy. You need to respect the man's privacy.

    My advice? If you want to talk to his mom on Facebook, do it in a private message and make sure she has the decency not to bring up the subject in conversation.

    • Thanks so much. Now, I understand why.

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