I left her for another woman but now?

I want her back.

I treated my ex terribly. Never fully committed to her and took advantage. I broke her heart when I left her for an ex but I'm realizing it's a huge mistake. Let's call her Julie.. Julie always has my back. If I were her, I'd hate me, but she doesn't. I called her the other day after going NC for a month and I vented to her about life. I told her about a debt I owe and how I may not go to school this semester. She called back the next day and said "I still care for u, don't want u not in school, I will loan u x amount of money and pay me back when u can." she's so amazing. She has my back more than my own family. It got me thinking about when I was depressed and she use to be there when no one else was. It made me feel so guilty and is making me realize I made a mistake. Julie was just too good for me. Too smart, too pretty, too caring etc. I left her for an ex that's less attractive, doesn't care about me etc. I'm realizing I was just scared to be with Julie so I treated her like crap. She told me she doesn't hate me, but we'll never he friends because I hurt her too much (I did). I text her every other day, and she takes lonnnnng to reply and seems indifferent. I could tell she's moved on. I'd give anything to start over with her but I don't know. Everytime im around my girlfriend, I just think of Julie. I have changed my player/asshole ways.. What are some ways I can show her that? Anybody ever took an ex back that treated them horribly?
I left her for another woman but now?
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