Going crazy with pain, thinking of my ex's future?

mistyartof
Next Monday my husband will divorce me. The reason is that he thinks I am too attached to him and "smothering" him, while I think he doesn't really behave like a husband. In fact, latelly he was living like he was single, texting other girls that he missed them and wanted to travel with them, disappearing some nights and meeting new people literally everyday. He would later compare me - although not explicitly - with these people, and accuse me of not being able to enjoy life, of being depressive and of keeping him from being happy. Rationally, I am aware that in a few months I may realise that this divorce was for the best, but for now I just cry every day and feel like I will die soon. What brings me more pain, though, is not that he leaves me, but that he will leave me to meet SOMEONE ELSE to take my role as his partner, wife or not.
This brings me incredible pain. Looking at couples traveling together punches my chest, because it was what I dreamt of doing with him. Seeing happy families with babies also makes me depressed, because I wish I could have these experiences with him. When I think of him leaving home and finding his new corner somewhere in the city I think who will live with him next, share chores with him, see him when they wake up, see him naked, kiss him before going to work, even sharing money with him and caring for finances together, like we enjoyed doing... it literally kills me, I feel like I cannot breathe. I look at random girls in the street and think if she is the type he would choose next. What could any girl give him that I didn't give? We had great sex, good plans together, we enjoyed similar activities, I pretty much supported him in every goal and dream, from quitting smoking to producing music or even quitting a job he didn't like. Did you feel like this when you broke up, or do you think I have serious abandonment issues and am doing well to seek counseling? I am so lost and hate feeling this way, I am truly suffering and unhappy...
Going crazy with pain, thinking of my ex's future?
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