What is he doing?

My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago. We were together for 3 years and had just moved out together. Before that we both lived at my moms house. We were both in agreement about it but he said maybe in the future we can work it out. We havnt really spoken except for the times that I've gotten his mail or got a call from his work. He re-added me to facebook a month after the break up, but doesn't start conversations. When I do go online, I see that he's on, then he's gone right away. This happens several times. I dont know what he's doing? I wanna be with him, but we broke up because of several things and I wouldn't go back if those things didn't change. I want to message him and tell him how I feel... but everyone says that if "he wanted to be with you, he would make the effort to message you". :( I dont know what I should do.


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What Guys Said 2

  • those things didn't change
    i assume u want him to change
    who made the mistakes to whom
    he wanted to be with you, he would make the effort to message you
    yes he will message u right away after 3 months to express his undying love on one knees wearing a suit

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  • I can tell you still love him and I know it's frustrating to be thinking about someone and that someone isn't there.

    Your job is to take care of YOU. Don't use social media to gather information, in fact, don't gather information at all. Just let it go. You are the one placing conditions on your love, meaning you want him to change.

    You can never change people. Love them, or don't but don't try an change them, it has never worked. Ask your parents if they were successful in changing you, just as an example. Cannot be done.

    Work on your own mind, and truly see if you really love him as the person he is, and all of it. If you do, then go for it. If not, focus on what it is you want and sooner or later, if you don't judge him, or yourself, it will come to you.

    I hope this gives bit of solace and makes some sense.
    Best of luck.

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    • I dont want him to necessarily change as a person. I just wanted him to get his license and stop taking his anger out on me everytime he wakes up.

    • Yes, I understand. I can completely sympathize. However, if you think it through, you only hve wht you have, meaning you only have him as he is. If he took his license on your say so, soon there would be another thing you wanted him to do, and you'd e in the same dilemma again. After a few rounds of this, you'd have to conclude that you are, in fact changing him. And e would tire of it, or you would.

      If you can convince him to stop being irritable, it would be like chastising your dog: he would now be waiting for the next "correction" and be walking on egg shells around you. Not a lot, just a little bit. And you'd find something else to change pretty soon.

      The conclusion is: either you love him as he is, 100%, or you don't. If you don't, then get out. If you do, get in, all the way.

      Does this make sense?

What Girls Said 1

  • If he left you, it's on him to make it up and come back to you. Not the other way around. If he knows you wanted it to work but still hasn't tried then there's not much hope. If it's tough to you to see him online then I encourage you to delete him or block him (if you don't want him to know you deleted him). It's just torture to yourself to keep him there.

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