Divorce in 2 days and FULL of doubts?

After weeks of crying, talking for hours, some cheating and realising we seem to be growing apart, my husband and I agreed to schedule a divorce appointment, but our minds changed a billion times about whether we should do it or not. Sometimes we think it's the right thing to do, but after talking for a couple of hours our minds get confused again. Only 2 days left for divorce and he just suggested that we live separate for a while, rather than getting an actual divorce. Because we are young and from different nationalities, our marriage was not exactly normal and we did not have some separation time before divorcing, we are actually living in my mother's house for some months. It is a long story, but the pattern is that he basically insists with all his confidence that he wants divorce UNTIL I actually start acting distant, colder and ready, THEN he changes his mind and makes me go back all over again. I have no idea what's going to happen in 2 days. Either we get divorced and he goes back to his country and we never see each other again, or we stay married and he goes but I don't know when I will see him again, or he stays and we try to recover so much we have lost already. I have no idea what my gut is telling me. I literally feel like my brain is being thrown around. I feel that it might be the best thing to do, but the thought of living my life without him makes me sick to my stomach. I feel ready and not ready. I feel that I want him and do not want him. What to do?
Just so you know, we are currently getting along and we still have a sex life, we still like each other very much. However, I feel that marriage should be something much more serious and believe in commitment, while he apparently got tired quickly, meets new people pretty much everyday, even went on a few dates and told me multiple times that he wants me to make future plans without him. He strongly believes I am unbalanced and unreliable (which is probably true, but look who is talking...)


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds to me like he wants it both ways - he doesn't want to lose you, but he doesn't really want to commit to you or really invest in the relationship either. in my opinion, you're going to be hurt either way, but by divorcing now, at least you get the process underway, and after a period of mourning, you'll be able to move on and find a guy who actually WILL commit to you and invest himself in the relationship.

    If you stay together, you'll still be miserable, because he's never going to change.


Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 2

  • You guys should consider going to marriage counseling specially if both of you are talking. Maybe you guys can work your differences out. For me my spouse served me and she moved rather quickly but she didn't want to seek counseling yet she is hurting her pride is not allowing us to work things out. Still you guys communicate and get on the same page and try to seek help. Don't give up.

  • Get a divorce. When he grows up and can make a commitment maybe you can get back with him. However I don't think he is worth it and you deserve better.


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