Whats the best way to scratch the I want to stalk you because you left me itch?

If you don't know my situation here's some info.1 lover was 53 and i am 23, lasted ten 10 months until i got a text saying he had a stroke.2 was on vacation when I got this.3 Got the serious itch to see where he's at.. but I know thats not correct and i need to let it go
  • Go out and have fun :)
    Vote A
  • You really slept with a 53 year old man? go get a hobby
    Vote B
  • Tre tragic, wish him well and go out with friends
    Vote C
  • Cry your eyes out until you have nothing more to cry
    Vote D
  • Go out to a bar and look your best
    Vote E
  • therapy will help
    Vote F
  • this just seems like an excuse
    Vote G
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Most Helpful Guy

  • When you care for someone or you love them deeply, it is difficult just to let them go no matter what’s happened to them, where they’ve gone, and even if they tell you they don’t want to see you anymore, because they don’t want you fretting, crying, stressed over their situation, because they know in their heart there’s nothing you can do to help. Some people don’t want to feel as if they’re being pitied.

    They don’t want to be a burden to anyone, so if someone is terminally ill and they’re in a relationship with someone, it is not abnormal for them to break it off, because they feel the other person should more on. They’re trying to be empathetic to the one they care about or love, but due to their circumstances they don’t realize how what they do affects others; sometimes negatively, as in your case, because you don’t know how to move on from this and it affecting you emotionally and mentally, and it can lead to excess guilt and depression.

    My advice to deal with this situation would start with the following: Have you done all you can do? Meaning, have you attempted with your best effort to make contact with him? Have you made your best effort to reach out to his family or find out where he’s at or how he’s doing? Have you made your best effort to determine if he wants to even see you or stay in contact with you? If you have done all this and you are sure you’ve followed all the leads you can and made your best effort to be there for him and still you haven’t been able to connect, then you have nothing, absolutely nothing, to feel guilty about. You’ve done your due diligence.

    So then, how to move on from this situation and get on with your life? In my view, you cry and you cry, allowing your emotions to start the healing process. You can rant and rave to the sky, your favorite stuffed toy, to a friend, or someone else you trust, and you listen to what your heart is telling you; yes it hurts, but you did everything you could have done and more. You need to let go and get on with your life. You connect with family and you connect with friends. You allow them to be there for you and let them into your life and share the pain you’re dealing with.

    • ( Continued --- )

      You’re going to have your good and bad days, I know this from experience. You need to allow yourself to grieve, and eventually you’ll wake up one day and it won’t hurt as much; each day will be a little better than the last, and you might even have a relapse where you wake up and it hits you all over again, but the point is not to give up and allow yourself to slip into deep depression. You go to work, if you work, you go to school, if you go to school; you do all the normal, daily, activities you’re use to doing, and slowly life will go on and you’ll move forward.

      And last, you allow yourself to love again. Don’t close yourself off to those who might want to connect with you and develop a relationship, because of the memories you hold. They will always be with you, in your heart, and in your mind; your thoughts, but don’t let them rule you. Let yourself love again and do your best to be happy again. That’s my bottom line.

    • Your answers always help me

    • @starryeyedkitten: I'm very please I can always help you. Thank you for your lovely words. They made me smile to know.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It was ten months. A relationship worth grieving for. Age doesn't matter really. Give yourself a chance to get the negative emotions out and start a new chapter with a clean page :) Big hugs

    • thanks I will for the past few days I've been feeling like a fool for believing this, but I believe he's telling the truth

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What Guys Said 6

  • Date other guy's and move on. If you want to stalk him. Stalk his facebook page. But try and move on and be happy. Make yourself happy first.

  • A good therapy because you are a RED FLAG for any guy here

  • I would move on.

  • Holy shit you're a big red flag in my book...

  • this just seems like an excuse

  • 1. Damn girl, you were too much for the old guy but I bet it took the stroke doctors 3 days to get the smile off his face. Must not have been severe if he's able to text.

    2. You want to stalk a guy recovering from a stroke? Why not just go see him? Or is he married and it would be awkward?

    3. If you live in Ohio, I'd be happy to... eh, not appropriate.

    • lmao thats funny:P Believe me I've tried but he told me he can't walk nor talk properly anymore and his left side is partially paralyzed. he told me his mom was texting , which by the way i got a text saying he was moving to l. a. No sugar i don't live in Ohio lol

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    • You're going to be fine. That itch will go away soon enough. :-)

    • Thanks, the less i think about it.. the less it hurts

What Girls Said 1

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