How to get over an abusive relationship?

I split up with my ex last May and I can't stop thinking of everything he put me through. He took my money to buy alcohol and drugs then would dissapear with his friends. I'd be fuming and he would minipulate my mind so much I'd believe it was my fault. In the end his drugged up party life got so out of hand it ended up with me being punched in the face, strangled on the sofa and smothered with a pillow... because I pissed him off. I split and felt like my life was coming together again... until he got back in contact with me and made my heart so sad for him I gave him another chance last November and on bonfire night I was put in head lock and was strangled yet again. I know I'm so stupid but he has a massive manipulating hold over me and I'm depressed. I've tried being in a relationship with a really nice young man and couldn't shake the feeling that if he saw me he'd just kill me so I split with him and locked myself away just ignoring ever bodies messages and declining nights out. I'm going to the doctors for help in the morning because I'm distraught and baisically fucked in the head because of it. How do I cut all ties without living in fear? I have strong panick attacks around 5 times a day and I'm hopefully getting a new job soon so I need to sort my life out

I've literally had to join an online community for help cause I'm sick of living like this it's taking over my life
How to get over an abusive relationship?
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