I don't love him but he won't let me leave?

Anonymous
He's the father of my 2 kids and been with him for years and he's never treated the kids or me right. He ignores the kids so it's me doing everything with them, doesn't support us and basically I feel like a single mum but with him hanging about taking the piss. I feel so angry at him for what he's done to me in the past and the only reason why I'm still with him is because for over a decade he's blackmailed me into staying with threats of killing himself or telling my family things about me. He used to hit me but hasn't done in a while as I've become a weak willed person. I can't stomach him touching me he makes my skin crawl so I avoid him as best as I can. He cheated on me and says he loves me and if I don't say I love you back he will pressure me until I do. I have no friends at all simply because I am not allowed any. I did have a friend I asked to go out with her one night and he screamed in my face no. Eventually my mum got involved and told him to let me out for the night and all night he phoned even getting my oldest daughter involved begging me to come home, I gave up and came home at 11 at night.. which he kept me up all night questioning me. He has friends he sees all the time and goes out all night I say nothing. i stopped my friendship with the woman as it was causing me a headache and knew he didn't like me going out that was 3 years ago now. I'm lonely and angry inside and suffer bad depression. I have nowhere to go to even if I did leave. Sometimes I feel like doing something bad that get me jailed to escape from him. I don't know what to do.. I know no one can help me though. What options are there for people like me that has nothing and nobody?
I don't love him but he won't let me leave?
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