My ex and were friends for a bit but then my depression started to get the best of me and when we were hanging out last week he told me I was bringing him down and being super distant (which I started being distant because he showed me a snapchat he got from a girl and it was of her chest down fully clothed but said something like I was bored so I got my nips pierced) It made me jealous but as the night went I was I talking to him more but apparently I still seemed distant. I left late that night and apologized to him and he told me he didn't want to talk to me or ever see me besides at work (because I was supposed to start working where he does but I left before I started) and how he doesn't want to be around me because I'm so depressing. And I apologized and told him that I have been going through a lot (new town, moved out of my parents, finding a job, family dog died and we broke up) and he told me I was being annoying and pissing him off and to stop talking to him... So I'm doing just that but it's been almost 2 weeks since we last talked and I really really wanna talk to him again and he snapchatted my brother who he has only met once and they never talk and it's weird. It's like he's trying to get a reaction from me or something. I really wanna start talking to him again. Would it be dumb of me to?
Most Helpful Girl
Why do you want to go back to the person who doesn't make things any easier for you? Somebody please explain this to me? He also makes you jealous, sending showing you things an ex really shouldn't, especially i you're not over him. This is your taste in what a friend should be? If you're depressed, you really need to be around people who actually want something to do with you.
However, I have two sides to this:
1) It sucks to be depressed, and it's not something to play or laugh about. It's really serious and can take a toll on your mental health if not treated. So, I understand what you're going through.
2) It's NOT fair at all for the people around you to be influenced by your depression. It can draw people away and exhaust them if every time they are around you, you are endlessly negative. It's just not fair. Instead, try to really LIVE instead of letting people see you as the victim of depression. I get that you're in a new town, moved out of your parents' place, and oh my gosh, a dog dying... Dogs are precious. But one way to handle depression is to face whatever is depressing you. If you're in a new town, GET OUT and get to know it. Find some little mom and pop restaurants, or parks, historic sites, and all those little fun things. As far as moving out of your parents' place, congrats on this new step. You are growing more independent by the day and you should be proud of yourself, but give yourself credit. You will need some time to adjust to this new chapter. As far as work goes, be friendly, have a smile on your face, and keep your private life to yourself. That means leave your depression and drama right at the door of your house and don't let it follow you to work. If he's around, pay no attention, unless you really have to socialize becuase of work. But make him miss you by the things I suggested, like smiling at people, and talking about only positive things. Cheer people on and support them.
But at the same time, don't live for others, or have everything you do be for the sake of getting his attention. We all have chapters in our lives and sometimes not everybody can tag along. He may not be one of them.1
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