My ex and I officially cut strings last night. We both still love each other and care for one another except my love for him is a romantic kind of love his isn't. He told me that he tried so hard to love me but failed to do so. We're still trying to be some what friends but right now I'm not talking to him because I need some space but having this space away from him makes me feel like I'm dying. My chest hurts so bad. I've been laying in bed not going anywhere for the past 6 days (mostly because my car is broken). It feels like someone won't stop stabbing me in the heart. I don't have friends to really talk to about this because none of them have ever been in a relationship before. its so cliché to say but I feel like I can't go on or really be happy without him. I'm like a stupid little puppy that won't stop following him around.
how you do people move past this? Like what do you do? Don't say it'll just take time to go away because I don't think I can sit here and wait for this pain to just disappear.
Most Helpful Guy
My dear, I can very much sympathize with what you're feeling and it is a stern test for sure. It is true that time will make the emotions peter out some but there is a much better way to get better.
You have to realize that it's just your mind creating these feelings. For example, you could imagine another girl reacting with indifference to what has just been dealt you, right? It's YOU who processes it this way, and that's what's causing the pain. Two things about this:
You once learned to walk and it was kind of frustrating and took a long time. But you kept at it and get better and better because you knew what you wanted. And then you got it. Same way with love: this guy isn't the right fit for you simply because he's not in love with you. Your perfect match IS in love with you and will want to be with you any which way. So look at it as part of learning to walk i. e. learning what a great match looks like. Remember, in fact really think about WHAT it is you love so much about him and only think about that. Don't focus on the negative things.
Your mind is rebelling and your ego is screaming "gimme gimme gimme" but your inner voice is always calm, so learn to listen to her. Learn to meditate. It's like quitting smoking or overeating. It seems so justified to smoke/eat/feel hurt that your lover isn't there, but it's just a smoke screen.
You have everything you need: after all, here you are, in perfect health and albeit crying, you're fine. So you have everything you need but you act like your life is over just because some boy said something.
Practice meditation and breathing. Focus on being calm and feeling your inner sense of happiness.
I hope this gives you a little perspective and hope that you may get much better, quickly :-) If you have any questions about any of this and want to know more, let me know.
And if this sounds crazy, then just take it easy, you will really not die from this. I have dealt and been dealt and I've never been happier...
Most Helpful Girl
You have to realize that you can and will fall in love with someone who will love you back. Just tell yourself that you are awesome and whoever rejected you, it's their loss. You will make a man happy, just not that one. Turn to God. Turn to any friend who you can talk to. Just know that it is ok to feel hurt because rejection hurts. It's ok to want to be loved and not being loved hurts. Just be patient. True love will find you. I was in love with a guy for 8 years and he never loved me back and I asked him and he said he only loved me like a sister. I am married to someone else now and I am working on it. Just keep trying0