Should I end it? or continuing fighting....?

so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 23 months, on and off due to us fighting so much. things never were never really "simple". we started off bad, he cheated on me about a week after taking my v card, and I took him back... well we were alright for a little over a year besides all the trust issues between us,and then I made a huge mistake and cheated on him, multiple times... but with the same guy... and then felt too guilty to tell him so I ended things with him - no explanation. but on my defense, he thought I was cheating on him ANY time we weren't together, even before I actually did, and it just got so overwhelming that in a drunken attempt to make myself feel better, I decided if he was going to accuse me of doing it I mind as well just friggan do it... well one crazy night after our break up, my sister ended up telling him everything, yet still he begged for me to come back to him, and part of me felt like I owed him, since I had done so wrong to him... but now its just undeniable that I'm not happy with him and I cheated on him for other reasons than I thought, I'm bored with him. we're always fighting and I constantly feel suffocated, and when I try to tell him he says things will change but it hasn't happened yet... so, do I stick it out and hope things change, for his sake, because I really do love him... or is this a time when its alright to be selfish and do what makes me happy...? I'm afraid if I let it go on longer I'm going to make more mistakes... but I don't want to break his heart, seeing him hurt is the hardest thing ever. if I did leave him, he'd be alright... right?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess first and foremost is you both need to end things now, rather than trying to fix things once again. It sounds like you two have already tried that before time, and time again. I'd hate to say this, but how stupid is it to keep getting hurt every time you get back together? That just doest make sense. It's obvious that the love for him is questionable and his as well. I know you love him, but it's the matter of loving him as a boyfriend, as a companion. Maybe the best way for you two to fix things is to start from scarch but that's not about fixing the relationship that once was, but fixing the core friendship. The relationship of being boyfriend, and girlfriend is (in my views) too damaged. There are to many variables to the love you once had. Those variables consists of some of those factors of not trusting him, and him not trusting you. There are huge gaps in that relationship, that can't be mended. You cheated on him multitudes of times, and him as well. Why are you so codependent upon this relationship now? I think the people that are going to read this story will find a lot of that. You've tried, and tried, buts it's not happening, and that's apart of being so codependent on the relationship. Your so worried about getting back together that you as a person can't think straight. The relationship you once had is over. Try fixing the friendship and move forward with your life. You just can't fix this anymore you've tried. It's like the saying goes. You can bring the horse to watter, but you can't make it drink. It's kind the same principle. You can't fix something that can't be fixed, again you've tried to, now you need to think about yourself, and move on to a better place for yourself.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well first of all, you shouldnt ask people the leave some1 or not, that it not there buisiness to say or to know. Only you will know if you have to stay or leave. Another reason why you shouldnt ask people is if you do in the future ever feel like you shouldnt have left or you regret it, you will blame those people, when really its ur choice not theres.

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    • Well obviously I'm not going to take everything everyone says and act on it, I'm not that dumb. I just wanted some other views on the situation, and you don't know me so why say I would blame other people for my decisions? this is an advice website so don't give stupid answers when people ask for advice.

    • I am giving you advice, ONLY You KNOW! Look at the dumb remark you posted back.

What Girls Said 1

  • Of course he will be alright. He doesn't seem like he is willing to put in the work. We usually want what we don't have so if you do leave him, be prepared to hear him tell you that he wants to work on it. But stay strong and realize that a man who loves you will always want you and always want to make it better. If he hasn't done that by now, he may never change. Leaving him with all those reason's of not being happy, he should see that. Be selfish. If he can't make you happy then there is no use in staying with him. Don't worry about him and how he will feel. He will be fine, if he was cheated on you once I'm sure he knows a few ways to help him get over you. But don't think about him. This is about you. So make it about you when you leave him. You don't have to be mean but if your not happy with yourself and the person you've become, then you really don't have much of a choice. Holding on to false hope that he will change, is just a waste of time. There is never a good time to break up with someone, so don't feel bad about it. It happens to all of us. Good luck.

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