Guys, Just need some advice?

Hi about a month and a half ago my now ex boyfriend and I had a huge fight. I want to travel and he doesn't. He just started getting angry and I had enough. He always picks fights with me so I said if your not happy get out. He said its not like that. So I said I want to move forward and move on and you don't even know if you like me. So just get out and leave. Well he never responded for 3 days so finally I was like whats up. End of the day he sent me a big long text saying he was sorry and he was done. I told him I hated him and how could he do this. He just stopped responding. Broke up with me over a text. So a couple days later I sent a closure letter. He sent one back immediately. Said how great I was and nothing negative and that we want 2 different things. Said he still missed me and has been sick all week from the stress. Said he hoped we can still be friends and when time passes have a coffee. I never replied. A month passed and I sent him a text as I am going to South Africa by myself for a month and that is where he is from so just wanted some clarification on some stuff. I asked how he was doing and he said he was just okay. Wrote a big long essay on helpful stuff for south africa. I never told him I was going to Africa about this and seemed like he already knew. He told me to be safe as he still worries about me and if I run into any problems to contact him and his family would help me. Are conversation ended there. Its now been 3 weeks since then. Is he confused? Can I still be friends? I know I deserve better.
Updates:
I also forgot to mention he still lets me use his netflix and hasn't said anything. We also met on a dating site and I signed back on after we broke up and saw his old profile there. He never deleted it but didn't look like he went on it but a week ago I noticed he just up and deleted it. Kinda weird to just up and delete it a month and a half after we broke up?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's grieving the loss of your relationship even though he knows it's for the best. Remaining friends is possible but not at this point. You both need time to completely get over each other and move on with your lives so no contact is best and right now that's not happening (one of you keeps texting for one reason or another which opens up the communication and the feelings resurface). Give it 6mths or a year with no contact at all, then see.

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What Guys Said 5

  • What advice do you really need? Yeah the guy is a jackass, but you said that you hated him! Sounds like later on he was receptive to being friends and you just came off as unappreciative. Still using his Netflix and checking up on his dating profile? You should probably not date for awhile and keep all of our selfishness to yourself.

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  • maybe. its been done. depends if you can manage to not bond again romantically. but when the next dude shows up, I'd say he has to go to the waste bin cause it is hard to keep around past loves.

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  • No you can't be friends, you dumped him.. can't have your cake and eat it too..

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  • He was right to dump you. Obviously your intention was always to go get some foreign cock. South Africa? Everyone knows you're going there for the sole purpose of fucking multiple unwashed negroes. You might come home with HIV.

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