What should I do?

I apologize ahead of time for the length. no need for judgement I know my faults.

We've been through a lot, financially, emotionally, passing hungry days. We used to work together and found a way to get back into our relationship. My mother never liked her nut father was meh, my was great with her. Every time my mother would call me she'll try to turn me against my spouse and my spouse against my mother. During our marriage most difficult time my parents where going through a difficult situation they lost their house and ended up homeless. I couldn't help them because I was barely making 1200 a month we didn't have anything to eat at times. She was going to school while I worked full time. She used to get a stipend which she helped cover half the rent while I covered everything else.

During this hardship I'd shut down with depression, keep to myself I'd get mad and took my frustration out on her, I'd pushed away by doing that. I am in a town I don't even like because it was worth it when we were strong. She'd rub things in my face and I'd do the same instead of working things out. At this moment I started making $. We talked and decided to give refuge to my father and she agreed. In March her and my father had an argument I didn't pick sides as I didn't agree with either one. That same day was already planned for her to go to get moms to start her graduate school. We had a birthday party for her we were ago drunk and I spilled the beans on everything including her past. Which I fucked completely. Without even knowing that was the end of my marriage. 6 months went by with hardly any communication we saw each other twice. she ignored me during that time. The last I saw her she told me on a Friday about divorce by the following Monday she filed divorce and was processed. I never cheated I've worked my ass off to get a decent position and job I Keep reaching out to her... do I stop and continue my counseling or counseling and move on? Sorry it's this long.
What should I do?
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