What's the truth?

You know when you have a bad breakup? If your ex starts talking shit about you/insulting you, do you think they really think what they say or it's just a matter of anger etc?What's the truth?
I got this message from my ex boyfriend after two months of silence between us, I really couldn't care less about his words because he's the most immature person ever but I'm trying to figure out if that one is his real opinion about me and if he thought those things when we were together and if he lied all the time.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know it must be very upsetting to get this kind of message. Several people have asked why tis important since it’s over anyway but it just is. You’re wondering if you’ve lived a lie etc.
    Joygirl makes a great point suggesting that you have been judging him and so he’s acting the same.

    I know you don’t mean to and we have nearly all of us been taught to react to and judge people’s behavior and sort of grade it on a correctness and “do I like it” scale. If it fails, this person is now “immature” “narcissistic” “a cheater” etc.

    However, like JoyGirl brilliantly says, and I paraphrase, when you’re judging, you’re judging and you can’t get anything else except judgement from others.
    I would bet you had started thinking negative thoughts about him before and during the breakup. What went through your mind every time he crossed your thoughts after the breakup? Just look and you’ll probably find a lot of negative thoughts.

    Again, you don’t mean to do this, it’s how we were all brought up: to justify negative thinking and judging others when we see something we don’t like.
    But it just doesn’t work because after we have labeled him “psycho”, well, like you said, the only conclusion is that, like you said, you wasted a whole year.
    The truth is, there was, and is, love between you, and there always will be. Right now it’s being obscured because you both remember the bad stuff. But all you have to do is think back to when you met him for a bit, and remember how great it felt, to feel it again.

    So I’d suggest you do that more, since it feels better. And see what happens. Don’t judge yourself, or him. You both went for it, together, and it was good for a long time.

    I don’t know if this sounds crazy but give it a try and see if you feel better. After all, that’s the only thing that matters.
    Best of luck.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honey I have to agree with @enis_Penvy. You won't get the answers you want and it's only going to hurt you more. Take it from someone who's had her fair share of assholes in her life. Just move on from him honey - don't let him take up any more of your time you see better than him

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What Guys Said 11

  • Um why does it matter? He's your EX and he's made it pretty damn clear he won't be trying to get back with you. Why do you care if he ever really liked you or not? It's in the past. Move on from him and stay away from his hate

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    • I would never go back with him either. I would like to know if I lost one year of my time and nearly my V card to a liar, it's simple as that :)

    • Again does that matter though? How does that change your life and current situation?

  • Well firstly he's an asshole and none of that shit he said was true. Whats his real opinion of you I have no clue. Obviously is pissed off things ended bit he was an asshole then if I remember correctly for your messages. Its best to wash your hands clean and move on. Dont even reply. I think that will urk him more than anything

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  • Considering you're gorgeous obviously he is just trying to hurt you @carliexo7 he is clearly inmature and a complete asshole. Just move on from him even tho I know what he says might hurt, you should realize he's just making shit up to try to get to you.

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  • My high school tutor once told me that if you wanna know someone's true opinion about you then you'll find the answer when they'll be mad at you
    And i personally think my tutor was somewhat right
    by the way you know you're beautiful and a sweetheart right? 😊
    Have an awesome day ahead
    And block him rn

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  • Seems like a 13 year old immature punk to me. Insulting someone you've been involved woth for so much of time never made sense to me. Such people who get vindictive after a breakup are clearly having some psychological problems that they need to talk about with someone. They are unfit to have a relation with anyone for that matter

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  • depends really... on who is actually talking shit. i must say this post makes no sense-he's going to the police over nothing?

    one of you is a psycho. since he's so upset, and you are calm yet seem to enjoy how upset he is and are essentially bragging about it here-it might be you.

    there's clearly much missing to this story, you also blacked out the first part which shows big time deception on your part. I think it's you.

    you also are inconsistent-say you don't care what he thinks, then ask us what he thinks... lol

    all signs point to you being the crazy one here and that you were abusive to him-thus why he's blowing his lid, likely over covert behaviors, ie a smear campaign you've been running on him, his friends and family-based on the info given.

    diagnosis: poster is a psychotic woman.

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    • now after looking at your picture-which screams narcissism, yes-it's definitely you.

      i know a vampire when i see one lol

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    • I haven't talked about me or my relationship to his friends, I only talked about him and his past as he made up different names etc :)

    • you've said enough to spot you.

  • Maybe it has elements of the truth but its not the full truth and that also depends on the person and what their objective was and how angry. From the text I would say his only goal was to hurt you, from your profile picture I can state objectively that you are not fat, this is obvious and your not ugly (otherwise why would he have dated you?) So this sounds like he was trying to hurt you (which lets be honest if you want to do damage to a womans self esteem attack her looks) So I would say in this situation no its not about the truth its meant to hurt you.

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  • Bwhahaha
    um hun? he's human, and has probably had this weighing down for months.

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    • But they're lieeeees lol

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    • Nooo, you misunderstand. The breakup has probably been weighing him down for months.

    • Aaaah whoops my bad ahah sorry

  • Omg I don't believe. He doesn't deserve any girl

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  • Well, that's what you get for stalking him 😁

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  • He's just trying to vent. To be honest, just text him "K then" and block him. He's not worth that stuff and you should definitely talk to some friends and stay away from guys for a while.

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What Girls Said 5

  • If he really felt that way about you all this time, I don't see why he would allow himself to date you in the first place. It's clear he's bitter about something, or intimidated about something that has to do with you. But it's no wonder you guys broke up because his behavior makes sense.

    It's obvious the text is full of lies but rather just tactics in trying to severely hurt you, and anyone who can openly speak this way to somebody is a pretty bad person. I wouldn't give it the time of day.

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  • The text suggests he believes you have been contracting him or talking smack behind his back. Did you? It reads like he has had enough. Who initiated the breakup?

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    • Ah no, I found out he made up a lot of different personalities so I asked about him to an old friend of his and apparently he said also different names so yeah

    • I see. So he's mad that you found him out? In that he doesn't have a leg to stand on and threatening to go to the police is to stop you finding out anything else about him. All in all, it seems like you had a lucky break. Ignore this, don't ask anything else about him and just let it die and be grateful that you exposed him and got rid of him.

    • Yeah I'm not scared of him going to the police indeed. You're right, thanks x

  • I believe you get to know a person more at the end of a relationship than you do during the entire time you were with them. If a guy is mean to me or vindictive at the end of a relationship , then i would be thankful that i am not still with the person i almost settled for.

    I judge a person by what they say or do when they fall out with people Personally i would just cut all ties with anyone who is vindictive or manipulative. I wouldn't even respond to him , he sounds like an asshole of a person

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  • It could be he is just saying those things to annoy you, since you said he is immature.

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  • Hardcore that one is. He's a hater.

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