HELP, Suicidal After Divorce? Is This Normal?

My divorce happened on Sep 5th. My ex husband left only 3 days ago and went back to his country (we were from different nationalities). Although rationally I am aware that divorce was for the best, because our marriage only worked when I agreed with/kept silent about all the wrong things he was doing, I am living the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life, and I am only 23 years old.
It is incredibly hard to forget the last 4 years of my life. Our memories are everywhere. Even moments, places and conversations we shared that I had completely forgotten now appear suddenly in my mind, and make me feel like I am being cut by a knife. Memories of our happy times together with our families, our vacations, sleeping together, preparing a meal together, going to college together, learning each other's languages... is killing me inside. I am so disappointed, angry and feel I have lost so much of my innocence and the belief I had in love that I don't want to live anymore. I feel that there's no point in living in a world of separation, where I am his ex, where he will speak about me to others in past tense, where I can never trust anybody else ever again. I am disgusted with my body, my mind, my personality, my failure to make this person happy. And now, yay, plus a divorce on my record. I decided to write here for anyone who will listen because I am afraid of myself - today, I have thought of suicide and how worthless my life is at least 5 times, in public transportation, at work, at lunch, wherever. Just the thought of having to tell people around me and my family members that I am divorced makes me sick to my stomach and want to be in peace. The closest thing I have to peace right now seems to be death. Just so you know, I am already in therapy and am surrounding myself with as many friends as I can, but this also hurts because they have long term boyfriend and gf's and are very happy, they haven't been through even half of what I have been through. Is this normal?
HELP, Suicidal After Divorce? Is This Normal?
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