Back and forth girlfriend keeps leaving due to "chemistry." Why? And is it valid?

Okay ladies (and gents). The long in short of it... My (now again ex-GF) has left me again due to "lack of chemistry." As it stands, we have been on this merry go round for around 3 years. First, we're like best friends—we have an insane fun time together. Second, we have a sex life when we're on—she pounces on me, has orgasms, we shower together, etc. So, we like each other naked (at least that's what it seems). But, every time we reach between the 2 to 4 month mark, she turns cold and blames sexual compatibility. Now, I'll admit, I've had so-called "better" sex with other women. But I wouldn't say she and I have bad sex. It's been getting better. From the start of our sexual relationship I did feel that she was distant. When our impending breakups do eventually happen, a couple weeks before I can feel her getting disconnected in bed—and it does feel "awkward," as she's put it. Now, we've ended it again, probably the third or forth time now. Each time, she comes back and the relationship gets more intense. Better actually. This time around she started nesting and talks of a life together were coming into play—she was 100% sure we were the read deal. In fact, kind of put herself out there to get me back—pulled out all the stop. Now, she says she wants us to work but then feels a need to end it because of this elusive "chemistry" she feels we're missing. Yes, I know that I have to let her go for good. And it sucks, mostly because of how close our friendship is. She's life partner material in that department. I believe that she's an avoidant, and subconsciously pulls away when we start getting too close. She did deal with early childhood trauma, never had a father, etc. Any merit to that? Why does she keep coming back if there's no chemistry? If the sex is bad? Why does she profess her love only to walk away? It's all too confusing and frustrating, mostly because (from my POV) we're insane together. Even strangers have mentioned it in public. What you think?
Back and forth girlfriend keeps leaving due to "chemistry." Why? And is it valid?
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