Back and forth girlfriend keeps leaving due to "chemistry." Why? And is it valid?
What Girls Said 2
Hm... It's not unusual for two people to have surprisingly different opinions about whether sex is good or bad... but "chemistry" is usually something both people feel.
Are you good at reading her in general? Because if you think there's chemistry but she doesn't... you might just have to get better at reading her (and SHE might have to get better at communicating her needs -- this will be a difficult talk, but definitely a necessary one).
Don't forget... even YOU said you've had better with other women.
You should think more about that. What MADE those other women better lovers? More... chemistry, perhaps? (:
Not really snark-- Try to identify CONCRETE things you could possibly work on together.
"Chemistry" should IMPROVE, not deteriorate, with time -- this is probably the single greatest feature of long-term relationships!
Also... Here's a suggestion. I'm a restless soul who's easily bored myself -- and this is the sort of thing that's kept my marriage hot for more than 15 years:
If she's attracted to the drama of constantly shifting relationships -- try ROLE-PLAYING breakups when you're perfectly happy together.
This is something my husband will do with me, and it's SUPER intense.
He'll (very convincingly) role-play getting ready to walk out on me forever. He'll literally be on his way out the door -- and I'll be screaming and grabbing and sobbing and clawing at him, dragging him back inside... and I'll "fuck him right back into my life".
The intensity of that sort of thing comes from how it just dredges up so many deep emotions inside me.
I'm always *intellectually* aware of how much my husband and I need each other -- and I'd die before breaking a commitment -- but, there's still something about actually playing out that situation that just hits me right in the heart (and between the legs too... mmmhhhh omg)
If she wants drama... give her the kind of drama you'll BOTH enjoy.
Try it you'll like it.
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Thank Disney movies, romance novels, Cosmo magazine, social media... our society has developed a skewed view of what relationships are supposed to be like and the elusive 'magic' that we expect chemistry and pheremones to provide.
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