So me and my boyfriend been together for almost a year but we broke up almost a week or two ago over little stuff. I still love him a lot and same for him. The feelings are still the same and we still talk here and there. I just want to know how I can convince him to come back and work things out and what else I should do.
Most Helpful Guy
I know it feels unfair and like a carpet has been pulled from under you. After all, you were together for some time and broke up because of what you call “little stuff”.
Remember, though, that some relationships just end. You may still love him very much and you say “same for him”. However, his feelings are not the same as yours. If they were, you’d already be back together. More fundamentally, you can never know what another’s feelings are since you’re not inside them. You just can’t know.
We are mostly brought up to be able to analyze each other’s behavior and judge it as appropriate or inappropriate and everything in between, depending on how the actions they take make us feel. But let me suggest another way.
I suggest you consider that you can only control one single thing in your life and that is the thoughts you choose to think…and not think. The reality is that you’re not together. I suggest that any time you’re trying to, sa you say, “convince” somebody of something, in other words get them to do what you want them to do, it’s not really you, or rather, not that part of you that loves them, that’s doing the talking. Rather it’s you ego.
Your ego wants to win and be right. It doesn’t care about what other people feel or think. I don’t know if you can see the difference. It’s like one part of you is just loving him…and the other part is dissatisfied with his behavior, which is a reluctance to get back together. I suggest you show him real love, and let him be.
I have more examples than I can count, of people just accepting what’s already there, or not there, and then finding something much, much better, a little while later. And I know many, many teachers who say exactly the same thing.
Finally, consider this: you don’t want your ex back, not really. How I know is that right now, he’s not into the relationship that much so if you did get him back, he’d be out the door again by tomorrow night. You want someone who wants you, don’t you?
Does this make any sense at all?1