Cheating on your boyfriend / husband?

how did it happen? feel free to answer anon. I'd like to see how many women here have done it and what the story was


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I had an emotional affair after being married 20+ years. I call it "emotional" because we never had sex but hugged, kissed, touched and shared many talks and emails.

    I met the guy at work & we were co-workers for over three years & really didn't talk much to each other. Then, my office got moved closer to his & we became friends. It started when I sent him a very innocent email about some astronomy event that was going to happen in our area as I thought he'd be interested. (I sent it to other co-workers too). That lead to more emails that were joking but a little flirty on his part. Then, we started telling each other (via email) about our lives as well as talking more at work. Then he asked me how I knew my husband "was the one" & I was honest & told him that he needed to ask someone else since our marriage wasn't so great. He then confided his relationship wasn't so good either. That lead to us trying to help each other out in our current relationships. It was definitely innocent in the intent to talk to someone of the opposite sex to get their thoughts & to help each other. But, at the same time, I had a crush on him for many years but never thought anything of it since he is 12 years younger than me. I have kids & he doesn't. So, what guy would ever go for that? I never expected anything physical to happen but loved his company and I loved talking to him. Our "helping each other out" led to a hug one day after a 2 hour period of pouring our hearts out to each other. Then that lead to a kiss a week later. We then started meeting for lunches. The affair lasted only 3 mo & we mutually ended when we realized what we had gotten ourselves into & had a lot of guilt about that. It kind of snowballed & I never ever thought I would cheat. Even though my husband has been abusive, I never thought I could be a cheater.

    That being said, I can also say I fell in love with the guy I had the affair with. I still love him & always will.

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    • Thanks... I can completely relate with your story. I was involved in One affair... and it was just an emotional affair (kissing, curling up together... and a lot of emotionally opening up and whatnot)

      ours lasted about 2 months or so before her husband found out. she ended it because she didn't want to lose custody of her kids... I saw her a few months ago, and her face lit up when she saw me... I miss her and wonder if she'd say the same thing about me as you did about this man

    • Thanks for giving me best answer. Sorry to hear about your situation as I know how hard it is. Sounds very similar to my situation. Yes, I can almost guarantee 100% that she thinks of you -- probably ALL the time if she is like me. You can't just walk away from an emotional affair. Read more about them online. It can take years to get over them. I am sure she has probably cried a lot of tears & thinks of you often. I try to remember all the good.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I cheated on my ex Shane. The relationship wasn't going anywhere and I didn't like the guy at all but I didn't feel like breaking up with him for whatever reason. This guy I knew was always wanting to get with me again (he was the first guy I had sex with) and he asked me if we could hook up again, I didn't want to have sex with him again, so I just gave him head and that was that. I can't say that I'm sorry for cheating on my ex, because I'm not, he broke up with me 2 weeks later for someone else (he didn't know that I cheated on him). And I don't regret cheating because it didn't hurt anyone, no one in the "triangle" cared for each other and no one found out (though I did tell my boyfriend now that I cheated, he doesn't think any different of me either). So whatever. Its in the past, time to live in the present. (:

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  • well I guess it all started 2 years ago, when my boyfriend cheated on me less than a week after taking my virginity... all of my friends and even my own sister knew and nobody told me... I found out 3 weeks later from a friend at school. after a little while I forgave him and tried my best to trust him but sometimes I wasn't so good at it... Neither was he though, constantly he treated me like I was the one who was guilty... after so much of that it just pushed me to the limit. One night, he got mad at me because I supposedly tried hiding the fact that my sister's guy neighbor was visiting for a few, and our other guy friend was there as well. I didn't try to hide it, I just hadnt got to telling him before he heard their voices. Well, I got really p*ssed and drunk, and decided if he was going to treat ME like a cheater after what he did to me I mind as well do it. The other guy that was there ended up comforting me and he slept in the queen sized bed with me and my sister. we didn't have sex or anything, we just cuddled and kissed and it was really nice and comforting. I should have stopped there and not hung out with that guy again, but we did, and the next time we ended up having sex. But the reason I did it was because he pushed me to do it with the constant accusations. I honestly can't believe I did it, its not who I am at all and I truly am dissapointed in myself but I can't help but feel he is also responsible and maybe we aren't really meant to be...

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  • I have been married 10 years and cheated for the first time last year. There is just no sexual attraction left at home. Since then, I have cheated several times with several guys. Its all about the NSA physical attraction I'm missing at home. I m debating getting out of my marriage altogether, but for now, its just the less complicated way to deal.

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  • I was at a family Christmas party and had been drinking all night with the family then everyone left/went to bed except for me, my cousin, and her older brother (not related to me at all! when I say family I don't mean blood I mean like through marriage) so we all started drinking and this guy just kept feeding me shots like crazy! I'm usually very good with alcohol and know when to stop, but I guess because it was in a family setting at my family's house I felt safe and didn't think twice to continue the shots. At some point, I totally blacked out and don't remember ANYTHING except for a couple flashes I have of him on top of me in the living room and my cousin puking in the bathroom. I have NO idea how it got to that, how it even happened, who initiated it or anything. I didn't like the guy, barely knew him, hadn't flirted or anything all night, but somehow we ended up having sex. I told my boyfriend and of course, he flipped out and didn't talk to me for a good week. He did forgive me though, and after some time, does trust me now. I think because he knows I'm not that kind of person, I've never cheated before, I'm not a cheater type, and as cliche as it sounds, I was drunk, and in that particular situation I feel like I had no control over myself. I still regret it to this day, and have not had that much to drink since. Lesson learned I suppose.

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    • Christ, that sounds more like rape than cheating, if you were blacked out when this guy did that....

    • Well I was obviously still functioning well enough to do all that lol.. I just don't remember any of it.

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