Did I handle it right? What went wrong?

So I met this guy two months ago on an online dating site. We hit it off immediately. I really liked him and the feeling seemed mutual on his end as well. 2 weeks into dating we ended up becoming BF/GF. It was a mutual thing, but rushing it also gave me tons of anxiety. Despite my anxiety, I decided to take a leap of faith anyways. Well a week and a half later, he called me to tell me he wished we had taken it a bit slower and that given the fact that he was starting a new business venture, he felt he'd be too busy for a relationship. I thought he'd just disappear after that, but he didn't. The very next day he was still contacting me multiple times throughout the day. This continued for a few more weeks, and we did see each other in person. He said lets just see what happens, if it's meant to be, it will be, Just the other weekend we had a great time with each other. He plays a sport, and after the game he asked me to meet up with him and his team at a local bar. We spent some time there and then we left and went out to dinner. At dinner he asked me if I'd go to a wedding with him in a few weeks. He also said he wished he didn't second guess us being together in the beginning, and claims that his past relationship experiences made him feel this way. The next morning I got a call from my Girlfriend saying that she was out with one of our male acquaintances who just so happened to be dating the guy I am talking to ex-girlfriend. I was not present to talk to our male friend, but I guess the ex-girlfriend broke up with him in a similar way the guy I was seeing did to me. I told the guy I was seeing that my friend was dating his ex-girlfriend. He said, he still speaks to his ex and that she was dating a few people. Anyways, I never did talk to my male friend. He instead jumped to his own conclusions about what was going on and confronted the girl (the ex) he was talking to. He told me him and her had a conversation about how we all knew each other, and told my friend that her ex-boyfriend has commitment issues. My friend ended up getting the girl to come clean with him and tell him that she was seeing other people. Anyways... The week following our great Saturday, the guy I was talking to seemed to not be texting me as much as he normally did . I'd get a few texts Monday, Tues and Wed. Thursday, I decided to initiate the conversation and text him. He seemed a little distant. I hinted at him coming over to visit me after practice that night, but he ignored that part of the conversation.

I can take hints, so I backed off. I didn't call him or text him asking him what's wrong or anything. I left the ball in his court. Well now it's been a week, and I haven't heard from him aside from him making a general comment on my FB about a link I shared. I sent a general comment back.

Did I do the right thing by not asking what was wrong?

I just don't understand how someone could like you so much and then all of a sudden "poof"?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hello,

    It sounds to me like things just moved to fast, he was starting a business, his ex was dating one of your freinds who then found out she was dating more then one guy after sending of accusations issues. My guess would be at this moment in time he simply wants to change his priorities. that's not to say he's not interested in you but given the speed things moved and the social friction that's been brought up I wouldn't be suprised if he just wants some time and space. He knows your interested in him so when he has time I'm sure he will contact you.

    That said I do know what you mean about people been interested one min and the next there just gone. the fact is these kinds of things don't just happen there are usualy lots of signs that indicate a problem is brewing, there's a good chance he put on a brave face for you becouse he wahted you to have a good time, the fact he said he was worried about the speed things moved for example, when he later said sorry for this I wouldn't be suprised if he was only refering to his outburst becouse he no dout still felt concerned.

    Like I said the man needs time, let him organise his work and assess where he stands. once things are clear and up on there feet I have no dout he will contact you with a smile on his face.

    • Well... he texted finally. Said apparently we don't talk anymore, I know it's my fault. He said sorry I dropped the ball, you are a great girl. I couldn't figure out what he was getting at in his text, so I said we should talk sometime. He said agreed. Told him I'd be around on Sunday and to call me, he said ok. He never called!!!!! What gives!

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