Visiting my EX boyfriend? Good idea or bad?

So, were together for 3 years and friends for 6. But recently we broke up. We don't stay THAT far from each other, its like a 2 hour drive. But its still distance to us! Can't just drive around the block when we miss each other. Anyway, we broke up like 5 days ago and we had planned to meet up (before we broke up) to spend the night together for the 1st time. But all that got canceled when we broke up (I got mad and canceled)... He was mad that I didn't want to meet so I feel I owe him that at least. I want to drive to go meet him, not meet halfway... but drive ALL THE WAY THERE! We've broken up before and its usually over small things that always lead back to distance. Usually I'm the one to try to fix our relationship, but last time, he was the one to man up and meet me halfway and he apologized about everything. Distance can stress you out and we work a lot and then I'm in school on top of all of that. Well, I'm a little excited and a little scared. Not sure if I should call him when I do come visit to see if he's at work or at home... or if I should just surprise him. And I don't know how he's going to react. But I know he's always wanted me to come visit him, because he always comes to visit me! Another big thing, I have to drive through Memphis, TN. And I HATE their traffic and I'm terrified of driving through there on my own, so I want to leave early in the morning so there won't be as much traffic. by the way, my parents will be gone that weekend, that's why I'm going. (We're both 20 and my parents believe he should make ALL the moves) I believe that it should be somewhat equal. He does a lot for me, so I just want to return the favor. Although we're single now, this could help us get back together maybe, and if not, I'd be fine. But I want him to see that my actions match my words and that I'm trying to go that extra mile for him. Things kind of ended on a bad note. So any advice would be nice? Thank you and wish me luck!!


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You're fucking up big time


What Girls Said 1

  • If you are over stay over and move on, I just told someone else that trying to go back to a relationship is like trying to put a broken mirror back together... you get cut by the glass... Try to maintain a healthy friendship, but move on. If it is meant to be, maybe a little distance will help it along... don't be needy, and don't surprise visit, it is never a good idea when you live that far away , and don't know what they are doing... Let him come after you and see if he does, but don't be afraid if he doesn't, you are young, there is a lot of opportunity out there...

    • Thank you! My friend came up with the idea. It's like every time we broke up it was because of distance or a stupid argument that only happened because we're distant. He wants me to move there and I don't wanna move without being engaged. And what if he reaches out to me before that day? Then should I try to go? If he makes an effort to talk to me, I'll go see him. Cause I know that's something he really wanted and probably still wants. But if he doesn't contact me then I'm not going to go.

    • Yes, if he contacts you and wants you there, absolutely go visit. But be strong and try not to be real needy, the more we women do that, the more guys usually just play us along! Be careful and good luck!

    • Thank you so much! I'm sadly just realizing that this whole breakup was my fault. I went off on him and basically asked did he wanna break up. I got some growing up to do on my part :/ I guess that was the last straw for him. But I will! :)

Recommended myTakes