"I can't commit to you 100% but I want to." What does this mean?

Not sure how to react to this one, was with a girl; quite possibly "the girl" but we're both in our 3rd year of university now so she broke up with me as she said it's impossible for her to commit, with this year being vital to our future and her working 4 jobs

"I want to commit to you, but I can't 100%"

And with how super-busy she is, she wants to cool things off, with the possibility of getting back together in the future, although I'm not absolutely focused on the idea.

Our break up wasn't argumentitive, rather we both left happy, and now she's drunk texting me and messaging me and I'm not sure what to make of it as this kinda breakup hasn't occurred to me before.

I know it's a dangerous game, texting your ex but No contact seems strange when in her words "It's hard not to text you as we get on so well" Especially if we both see a future together, or do her commitment issues mean something else


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Her message us inconsistent. If she is too busy for dating, and she thinks you are wonderful, how can she not commit to you, because she is saying that she does not have time for anything else. The only reason to break a commitment to you is because she wants to pursue a relationship with someone else. It is possible that she is making these comments to try to let you down gently and perhaps bow she is feeling guilty about what she has done. Be very careful!

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I do get that, that's my first thought; I'm not sure whether it's her feeling guilty; I know it's dangerous territory but the break up was good? would that change anything?

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    • Her guilt may come from having mixed feelings about the breakup and that may explain why those feelings are leaking out when she is a bit tipsy. by the way, if she doesn't have time for a relationship, why does she have time for drinking?

    • Because we're both at different universities (I live close to her at home) and she doesn't feel she'll be able to commit any time to see me 2 hours away, she wants to put her effort into her future, but did say if we're both still around after, who knows? (Not that I'm waiting on it)

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would break up and move on. Dafuq...

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What Guys Said 3

  • It sounds exactly as she says that she is too busy for a relationship but still likes you maybe in a year if you are both free then something can happen, it seems like a good friendzone

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  • Maybe she feels right now she cannot provide you with the amount of attention and time you require?

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  • You answered your own question. She's in her third year of university and working four jobs. She literally can't commit to you 100%. It would effect everything else in her life negatively. She does like you and maybe even loves you, but she needs to focus on school and jobs because as you said it's vital to her future. You need to talk with her about her expectations of you in this period of time. If she expects you to still be exclusive to her when she broke up with you, that's worrysome. Enjoy being single until she's ready to pick things back up where you two left off. Answer her texts when she messages you, even if she's drunk, shows her that even though you two are currently broke up, you're still there. When the time comes, if you two still feel the same about eachother, pick up right where you left off.

    Point is, you both see a future together, she just needs to focus on other things that are vital to her future.

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