Is it cheating?

Is it cheating if I go to lunch with male co-worker? One day I was having car trouble and my co worker loaned me the 10 bucks I was short to get this part. So I told him I would give it back the next day. Well that was about a month ago. Now I took my car in for a and oil change and he reminded me. I said well I don't have cash on me I'll buy your take out lunch he said that would be too expensive how about subway. Which is literally across the street from work. So I said ok 5 dollar foot longs! lol After I got back to my desk I thought ... Am I cheating ? I always said that if you can't go home and tell your other everything that happened in your day then you have done something wrong ?!?!? Is that true? I don't think my boyfriend would get upset but I would feel like I had to explain myself. I mean if he were to just happen to show up and see the two of us together it just wouldn't look good. But I've done nothing wrong?!?!? There's no feelings between me and my co worker he has meet my boyfriend and I've met his girlfriend... Or is it the old saying guys can't just be friends with girls and I shouldn't go or I'm giving him the wrong idea?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello,

    First of all, no that not cheating. Its sitting in a workplace cafeteria by yourself and then your co-workers sits down at the you're alone with that a date? No. Is that cheating? No. But what is more interesting to me is why you're so nervous about this whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing you of anything, but it kind of seems that you might have some type of interest in this co-worker. I think that because you're very concerned with such a simple and innocent act...or is it?

    Telling your partner about that encounter is not needed or useful. He might wonder why you're making a point to tell him about something so trivial. If you were on a public bus and a guy sat down and started talking to you about nothing in particular would you feel the need to let him know? Perhaps if the tables were turned you'd like him to tell you. If that's the case what you're doing is passing your insecurities on to your partner...and that's not fair.

    Remember cheating starts in the mind of the innocent...that's you. So if you don't have any interest in your co-worker having a bite to eat together is an act that happens in every workplace, and I'm pretty sure people don't run home and tell there partners out of fear of cheating.

    Bottom line is this, I don't know you obviously, but you sound guilty of something very innocent, so then maybe its not so innocent after all.

    I hope this helps!


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What Guys Said 2

  • The fact that you are so worried about it is really the red flag here. No, technically its not cheating. Yet you are very concerned about the situation. This probably means one of two things:

    1: You are attracted or have a crush on this coworker and things have gotten flirty. Nothing has happened, but you feel a spark or have some sort of a connection. If this is the case, its fine, but you need to recognize it and not let it go any further. Flirting outside of a relationship is normal and healthy, but thoughts of taking it farther can be worrying. If this is the case, be mindful and avoid any situations which would escalate the flirting to something more; or

    2: Your boyfriend is extremely jealous for one reason or another. If you cheated in the past, or gave him concern, it might be justified. If he has baggage from a previous relationship than it might be something to discuss and work on. Either way, tell him as if it is nothing. Hiding it or being concerned about it will not make things easier. If a girlfriend or boyfriend hides something, even if it is nothing, it immediately brings up red flags. Go him and tell him your day as you normally do, and just add it as part of your day.

  • I wouldn't worry about this. He just wanted to be repaid! It's normal for co workers to eat together occasionally after all.

    If he was interested he would have suggested going out to lunch.


What Girls Said 2

  • no not at all

  • no its not cheating.


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