I honestly dont want to be married anymore I feel trapped?

I married young my husband is older and this sucks i hate it. at firstwe married so we can stay together since i was going in to the military but now i dont want to stay together and i want it over but he doesn't and I don't know what else to do like i get so sad because i can't be free and normal like everyone else. i have never had a notmal dating life even in high school because i was poor and moving around now i have more freedom and i hate it. i talked to him but he wants to wait until the end of my contract before i make a decision. we make all these plans together but i dont feel like we should i dont know what to do he's not a bad person. But i have told him several times and he outs it off on something else like stress or i dont kniw what should i do?
Ok so im assuming no one actually understood we WE both agreed to get married so we can stay together since i was about to go into the military we both agreed ok we can do this but we are still growing and if either of us feel like we dont want to be together anymore then we will just end it


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you don't have children together yet, this may be the time to discuss this, honestly and frankly, with no blaming him on your part. ("It's not you; it's me...")

    Be prepared for him to feel hurt and perhaps angry, since he may very well feel that he was doing his duties, and that you should have known what you were getting into when you married him.

    "he wants to wait until the end of my contract before i make a decision."--he has a very good point. It would be best to *wait until your hitch is up* before doing something drastic. You might lay the groundwork now, but don't leave him in a lurch. When your hitch is up, then do it.

    "i have never had a notmal dating life even in high school because i was poor and moving around"--were you a MIlitary Brat then, as well as military now?


    • no i wasn't a military brat my mom just had like issues and moved a lot

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What Guys Said 4

  • " i can't be free and normal like everyone else."

    You are normal like everyone else, the problem is that your blind.

    " i have never had a notmal dating life even in high school"

    LOL... wait until you actually get this wish, you are in for a rude awakening.

  • if you dont love him why did you marry him? do you usually play with peoples feelings like this?

  • Say you want a divorce it will break his heart but free yours

  • What were you thinking?

    Divorce will rip him.


What Girls Said 4

  • Look I'm just going to be honest with you. You simply don't love your husband. And he's right with the stress. But its far more then stress. Its just you wanting to be like everybody else and you need to stop and smell the coffee. Just because you were poor, gave you no right or reason to marry him blindly. That was your fault, not the marriage. Marriage is not some life sucking institution. You feel trapped because you want to party, roam around have sex with whomever and so forth if that is what you want. You think that kind of lifestyle will make you any happier? It won't. It will bring you so much heartache and confusion.

    What I'm hearing from you is immaturity, unhappiness and misery. You were already like this before you married him, and now your taking it out on him. That is not fair and that is not enough to divorce him. That is selfishness. How can you treat somebody that loves you and wants to be with you like that, but you want out because you think that marriage isn't freedom? No, I'm sorry to say this. But it sounds like you've always been chained as a person before you married him.

    But if you want to divorce him out account of your problem and insecurities then go ahead. Because your not being his wife and it sounds like you don't to be his anymore. But I will tell you now after divorce you are going to regret it. Because there is so many men who will use you and don't give a damn about you. And your going to look back on this decision and him and regret divorcing a good man. You have no stance for divorce. Marriage was never about happiness, but you and your husband sharing and bringing happiness to a blink slate called marriage. Now your making him miserable because he wants to stay and you don't. All I'm going to say is that this is your choice. If you don't want to be his wife, somebody else will gladly take your place.

    If your past and your need to buck wild because you feel your missing out is so bad, but your sincerely want to change and be there for him, then instead of divorce you need to go seek marriage counseling. Because all I hear is a cry for help in all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons. He has not mistreated you, abused you or cheated on you, right? You say he is not a bad person? So what else is he doing that make you say: get me out of this hell hole? Because marriage is just you and him. So what makes him so repulsive that you want out? Again, it sounds like you either want to be alone, or go wild/date men.

    • i agree with this; if you wanted to party and date and sleep around, you shouldn't have gotten married, op.

      this is not your husband's fault; it's all you.

    • Show All
    • OP, thank you for yr service. That's the ONLY good thing I could possibly say here, but, it needs to be said.


      @vonasaurus "this is not your husband's fault; it's all you."


      "...'til boredom do us part"
      ^^ Did you swear a vow like this?
      Bet not.

      Fuck promise breakers. If you don't have yr word, you don't have ANYTHING. You are dead.


      Take that stress and that anger, and let it all out in the bedroom, with yr husband. Go ahead and scream at him, about how much you hate X and Y and Z... while you're fucking him. Might be what you need.

      Keep yr word.

    • Love this
      Totally agree

  • I don't know why you think that being single is a good thing. It sucks being single and it is also uncool to see people marry for just any reason and then feel they can just walk away. Maybe suggest having an open relationship? Express to him your need to live your young years the way you want to.

    • I suggested that he's too much of the jealous type like he's always wondering who i texting constantly looking at me to see if im on my phone or anything else he can't stand if im talking to a guy and if i am then he starts to interrogate and i have told him that he still wants to wait until the end of my contract

    • When is the end of your contract? A lot of spouses benefit from being with people in the military. Not to mention that after so many year he will get your pension... and not the person you are married at that time. If you are serious, I would talk to you chain of command for advice. Not sure what state you are in but you can separate. You may need to pay spousal support if doesn't work. Just get this started if you feel strongly about it.

  • Since your age group is 18-24 I am going to assume you got married around the age of 19-21. Which is relatively young and decided to commit to someone for life is a pretty big decision to make and your reasons don't sound like the right ones.

    I don't think marriage is something you should give up on but I don't think anyone should remain unhappy in a marriage they don't want.

    You haven't once mentioned that you love your husband or that you ever did. I think immaturity is playing a big part here-You want more freedom to do what exactly?

    I think your husband is right to suggest waiting until the end of your contract because things may be very different when you have more time to spend together and you are not so drawn to the lifestyle you clearly are craving right now. It may seem like fun but it can also come with complications.

    Marriage isn't easy, it takes two people to work hard and make it work. Not everything is plain sailing. But if you really don't love him you would save him a lot of a heartache by ending it.

  • Why did you marry him to begin with idiot
    Marriage isn't a game

    • I said the reason jn the beginning maybe read first 😒

    • Show All
    • Then why did you ask why i married him but whatever i dont care sbout how you feel about it

    • Marriage isn't a joke

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