Opinion needed, what can I do?

So spouse filed for divorce about a month ago. She said there's irreconcilable differences. But told me she wanted to remain friends. And that I can try to win her back and she'd maybe then take me back. So I'm conflicted... why be friends and say there's no reconciliation but maybe turning hell inside out there's a chance? I asked if she'd try marriage counseling she said no. So I'm very confused.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She told you she wanted to remain friends to try to keep peace during this very trying time in both of your lives. What is the root cause? Have you determined that, or do you just not get along? Was there an affair? If she is not receptive to counseling or trying to work out your problems, chances are she is not taking a hard look at herself and what she did wrong to bring to the table... Don't be confused or conflicted. Some things are not worth the anxiety, if you really feel strongly on winning her back, step back, stay quiet, and do things to keep your mind occupied, and if she sees you are going on, she might just be the one to try to win you back. Best of Luck

    • She said that I ignore her, mistreat her, appreciate her and by doing so I broke her heart... I recognized my mistakes and am holding myself accountable for my mistakes. I'm going to counseling. There is no infidelity, no physical abuse, no mental abuse. It all happened as soon as she graduated from college and went to stay at her moms for grad school. I was the one who cleaned up the house, cooked, did laundry so that she didn't have to worry about it when she got home. I could have been more emotional supportive, should've done a better job balancing my stress with my worries, my family's worries, work, my frustration and managing my anger, is just shut down keep to myself, during two drunken many things came up I do regret it now I'm paying for it. Counseling is helping me.

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What Girls Said 1

  • what irreconcilable differences?

    • Don't know she hasn't said... she hasn't even spoken to me since she filed a month ago.

    • it's stupid for her to not tell you what you/her did wrong and then want to file for a divorce that's unfair and dumb she needs to tell you what going on before getting a divorce if you have been faithful to her and love her what reason could she have for wanting a divorce

    • No clue she left in March for grad school met for b-day and argued the next day. Didn't here from her till although I called her and text her June saying to think of her as a friend and I asked her what about us she said she didn't know. Then she meets with me in August and asks for a divorce the next day she filed so she went extremely fast. I messed up I know and I admit it and I am doing something about it. But I never cheated on her, or abused her in any way.

What Guys Said 1

  • Let her go!! She wants to play games and that never works! If you went ahead and played her childish game and got her back, how long before she does it again. She gives you NO reason to trust her now or in the future. Without trust, there is no "real" relationship.


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