I need help. I'm desperate what do I do?

I just found out that my ex is in a new relationship. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I'm trying to stop thinking about it by distracting me and listening to my favorite motivational speaker, and by talking to new people. But my mind can think about 2 things at once and he keeps popping up. I know he has moved on and I am trying so hard to. I swear I have I just can't do it anymore.

Each time I think about it I get butterflies and I feel the need to vomit. I also have a cold or flu and my chest hurts pretty bad. Each time he crosses my mind my chest hurts even more. I tried talking to my bestie about it and she just tells me that him and I broke up 2 months ago and I should be over it already. So I'm trying to suppress my feelings about it but it's so hard. I haven't eaten in a day. I can't get myself to even drink without feeling it coming back up.

I feel like losing my mind. I want to just had myself off to a mental hospital. I don't know what to do. I'm falling into a depression or something and it's just the break up my car being broken not being able to have money to afford anything and not being able to get a job. It's so much pressure and it's my first time living on my own. My parents are an hour away. I just want to be with them but I have no way of getting there. I've called them once before and told them how I wanted to kill myself and my mom came up that weekend and brought me back home to be with the family. When she did at some point she went to the bathroom and I heard her crying because of me and my dad was really worried about me and I don't want them to think that I'm broken and can't handle life. I don't want to put anymore stress on their life.

What do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The biggest first step is cutting all traces of him out of your life. Remove him from social media, remove him from your phone, clear your internet history so you can't "accidentally" find him, etc. Seriously. That all needs to be done. Second, you're going to hurt. That's part of life. You still have feelings for him which is why you feel sick when you think about it. The better thing to do is think about the bad times, the arguments, the things that were wrong instead. Focus on that.

    • I don't even use my social media at all. It just hurts too much. The only thing I'm finding myself able to do is just sleep, or just browse the internet. I think about the bad times all the time but he was really manipulative and told me that everything was my fault so then instead of thinking about the bad I'm like maybe if I did this differently we'd still be together. But when he broke up with me he even told me that I did nothing wrong that it was all his fault but when we were together he rooted in me that it was my fault so that's all I believe.

      I'm trying to do more things. I'm starting to write, I'm looking into different college course I can take once my money and car situation is taken care of. I'm doing all this planning and distracting but it's not helping.

    • Show All
    • Totally am getting over it! It still gives me a bit of a sick feeling but I'm a let better I went to my parents house and I'm staying here for a couple days before going back home and he unfriended me on snapchat so I unfriended him back I'm friends with him on fb but I took the precautions to make sure I don't see his posts and I burned a hand full of pictures I had of him and us and I feel pretty okay. Still a bit heartbroken but I feel limitless at the same time. Thank you sooooooo much for your help! It helped me a ton!

    • I still feel you should take him off of fb. Having him there makes it too easy to "accidentally" see what he's up to, yanno? But I'm glad you're doing a bit better and thanks for the vote.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry you have to go through this, but when my ex and I broke up I kept telling myself "a year from now none of this will have mattered." I know you're really hurting now, but only time heals. It's been 9 months for me and hey I feel so much better about myself. :) You'll get over it. there will always be someone better.

    • I've been trying to tell myself what you had told yourself and it works a bit. My mind is like lol but right now it matters so I think back to a time last year when I was really depressed and I'm like does that moment matter right now? No so neither does this and it helps quite a bit keeps me from going over the edge. Thank you so much!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Find your happy place. Only time heals, but distraction definitely helps.


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm very sorry! Its so painful seeing someone you love... loving someone else , but you need to try to keep your mind focused on things other than him. Find a hobby or try something new. Focus on improving your life in general.

    Every time your thoughts start dwelling on your ex switch your mind to something that makes you have to concentrate.

    I'm life you have two choices... sink or swim, so don't drown in sorrow over someone who turned his back on you. Use this as an opportunity to make you a stronger and wiser person

    I've learnt to never hold onto someone who let me go.

    • Totally will rise I'm tired of sinking. I mostly was upset that he was able to move on so fast but I finally figured out that how he dates people has nothing to do with how I date. I don't need to compete with him I don't need to be with someone just because he is. I mean only 2 of his 11 past relationships lasted for a while one lasted for all of high school and the other was only 8 months odds are they are going to break up just as fast as they became official. So whatever I need to focus on my life and my relationships and how I want mine to be. I don't need someone who doesn't love me.

      Thank you so much for your help I really really appreciate it a ton!

  • Well the only thing you can do is go back home. Ask your mum to pick you up. You need to be around family. As for the guy you need to accept thesituation before you can move on

    • Totally went to my parents will be here for a week or so and I feel a lot better. He unfriended me on snapchat so I did the same I'm friends with him on fb but I unfollowed him and I burned a handful of pictures he had taken with my camera and I feel a bit sad still but I feel limitless. Thank you for your help!

    • :) I'm so glad you feel a bit better. And it'll take time hun but at least you got the support around you

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