I need help. I'm desperate what do I do?

Anonymous
I just found out that my ex is in a new relationship. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I'm trying to stop thinking about it by distracting me and listening to my favorite motivational speaker, and by talking to new people. But my mind can think about 2 things at once and he keeps popping up. I know he has moved on and I am trying so hard to. I swear I have I just can't do it anymore.

Each time I think about it I get butterflies and I feel the need to vomit. I also have a cold or flu and my chest hurts pretty bad. Each time he crosses my mind my chest hurts even more. I tried talking to my bestie about it and she just tells me that him and I broke up 2 months ago and I should be over it already. So I'm trying to suppress my feelings about it but it's so hard. I haven't eaten in a day. I can't get myself to even drink without feeling it coming back up.

I feel like losing my mind. I want to just had myself off to a mental hospital. I don't know what to do. I'm falling into a depression or something and it's just the break up my car being broken not being able to have money to afford anything and not being able to get a job. It's so much pressure and it's my first time living on my own. My parents are an hour away. I just want to be with them but I have no way of getting there. I've called them once before and told them how I wanted to kill myself and my mom came up that weekend and brought me back home to be with the family. When she did at some point she went to the bathroom and I heard her crying because of me and my dad was really worried about me and I don't want them to think that I'm broken and can't handle life. I don't want to put anymore stress on their life.

What do I do?
I need help. I'm desperate what do I do?
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