So I just got dumped because he said I'm too negative all the time. He said "I'm sick and tired of your negative attitude all the time. I'm so fed up with it. It sucks out my energy, and you're not a very good influence on me as a person."
So this actually hurt me a lot. But then now that I think about it, did he have the right to dump me? If he didn't like my attitude, why couldn't he try to help me improve it? Isn't that what couples are all about? Couples try to overcome hardships together. Is he using this as an excuse to break up with me?
Most Helpful Guy
Sure he had the right to dump you. It's not his job to improve your personality. Being in a relationship isn't about fixing issues with your partner. It's about enhancing each other's existing features and building upon them.
I was just reading a study earlier today that stated that a person's personality traits can be seen as early as 3 years old and remain consistent throughout adulthood. These inherent traits are very very difficult to change. If you are a naturally negative person since your childhood, there's probably little he could have done to change it.
I had a girlfriend like that once. Very hot, but always moody and grumpy. Nothing I did would really change her attitude. We never argued or got angry at each other. But her general mood was always... sad or angry. Her grouchiness spread like a plague and I found I would become more emotionally depressed with her over time.
If it is true that these types of personality traits are set for life, you may be in for a very unhappy life. No matter who you're with, a negative personality who always complains about something, or blames others for problems, is going to make any relationship crash and burn. If you meet a cheerful person, your negative attitude may simply make him get fed up and leave. If you meet an equally negative person, you may be in an argumentative relationship.1
Most Helpful Girl
He had every right to dump you, even if the reason was stupid. But the sounds of it this has been an ongoing issue, so there's no determining whether or not by his standards he had already tried to help you change.
But it isn't the job of your partner to fix all of your shit for you. When you're in a good, fulfilling relationship where you both mutually support one another then yes, you'll stick around to help the person through their trials, but if the relationship is shit and one sided, few people will stick around to help you fix your attitude.2