What does my ex want?

Hi, I need help and advice.

I had been living with my guy for 7 months, we had a great relationship always understanding each other, having a great time, everything was perfect.

He pursued me and we always had a great laugh, he was like my sole mate and best friend all in one.

2 weeks ago he was secretive with his phone so I snuck it to look and found that he had been texting another girl, she had text back saying she couldn't wait to spend tomorrow night with him! He told me before I found out that he wanted to go spend the night with his grand parents for some time to sort himself out. ( He was brought up by his gp's as his mum was murdered) he has issue in life about it but we worked through them.

When I told him about the text he just curled up in a ball and never really spoke to me.When he left he hugged me and kissed and He left with a male friend who was with us at a time and couple of hours later he text to say he was sorry it was like this but he will come get his things later.

Couple of days later he came with his friend to get some of his stuff just some clothes really, I have since taken the rest of his things to his gp's house. They still want me to remain close to them,

This is what I can't get, since the split my ex texts me every day to say hi and to let me know what he is up to and that, sometimes it turns to a difficult text if he asked what I up to and I say I'm at a friends house. its like he gets awkward with me saying I got holidays to book I'm busy! Or he is out racing in cars with his mates He's the one that texts first. not me. I leave him alone to get on with his new girl. After an awkward text two days ago he text yesterday to see if I had a control for his TV of all things! and he knows I have return everything. Today he text real nice saying did I manage to find it. I told him that if I found it I would pop to see grandma later in the day if it was OK with him as I don't want to feel uncomfortable , he said it was OK as he had stuff to do today so it would be fine to go.

I ring up later to see if grandma was in and he answers the phone! so why is he there when he had stuff to do, I just don't understand why he is texting about his life to me, he knows he has hurt me deeply so why does he do this

Please advise me as I am confused.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • hes not sure he's made the right decision...you both seem to have played a huge part in each other lives, which is a good thing. You need to be true to yourself and tell him it'd help you if he could keep his new social life to himself and taht you're trying to get over what happened. Be honest and up front, otherwise he'll never know. He obviously still cares about you and is trying to find ways to see you again (do you have my tv remote). I mean they do sell universal tv remotes now a days and they aren't that expensive either.Keep doing your thing and try to stay away from his social life because it will just hurt you some more.

    You seem like you're doing ok with this and you just need some space from him to feel better. Concentrate on yourself, what led to the break up, why you broke up, and then become a better person out of it. Go to the gym to relieve stress or go for a run. Go do anything to keep him off your mind...go out with friends (but only if you're ready) - you don't have to go out and look for a guy, you will know when you're ready for another guy in your life. right now I think you should concentrate on you and be yourself. you're single...summer is a month away, go out, meet new people, do something different and outgoing..HAVE FUN! lol treat yourself nice, you deserve it...if he keeps getting at you and its bringin you down you need to tell him that its hard for you and that youd like him to stop getting you involved with his social life and you will contact him when you're able to accept those kind of things...

    take your time, don't rush anything, if its meant to be fate will make it happen...good luck!

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    • Hi.

      Thank you for your advice, it has helped alot. I'm just so comfussed right now with what he is playing at.

      I love him dearly but his texts crush me more. I'm sure if his new girl knew she would go nuts, not that I would tell, I have just accepted things and letting him get on with it no matter how much I hurt, just wish he would let me try. Many thanks. x

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Id say that he's staying in contact with you because he feels guilty about what he did. He didn't want to hurt you, or have you find out that way, so he's being nice to you so he doesn't look so bad. But he is. Plain and simple. He was messing around with this girl when he was with you and honestly you shouldnt give him the time of day. Just ignore him, stay away from his family and move on with your life. It sounds like you took it very very well, so it sounds like you're a smart girl. You have nothing to gain by staying in contact with him, so just let it go and go do what's best for you. Let him live his life and you live yours. You will both learn to forget it.

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  • because he is confused also, he misses what he had with you, the best way I can put it is with 2 phrases " just because the grass is greener in the other side don't make it easier to cut, and better the devil known than unknown. maybe he wasn't ready for a strong commitment or could be fear of something else. or maybe his feelings are not the same that you have for him. was there closure on that part?

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    • Hi, there has been no closer on either side,

      we haven't spoken to each other and only he texts me, but nothing on the breack up.

      i have since found out today he is going away with his new girl of his to a goth weekend and he hates goth's!

      it hurts when I find out thro grapevine what he's up to, we have not had conntact for a couple of days and that hurts too. I just wish I could do something to make him relise I still love him, but I just don't know what to do.

      sorry to go on, I'm just hurting,

  • tell him to stop texting you and to move on. the guy has issues and you should distance yourself, even if that means falling away from his gp's.

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  • hes doing this because he's a guy...young guys cheat...and just because he cheated doesn't mean he didn't love you...just means he's young immature and horny...stop with granny too...move on...

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  • he wats to f*** you hard..and then DUMP U..TAKE IT...IT CANT GET SIMPLER

    BYEEEEEE

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What Girls Said 4

  • If he alwasy text first then you have three choices to get from in my book. A) He loves you and knows what he is missing B) He wants to still be friends or C) ALL THE ABOVE. Just kinda go on with your life and maybe say like sometime that you and your friends are going out to this place and name it. Then get your friends together and actually go and see if any of his friends goes or it he goes and if he does than he really does want you back. Or you can just next time he text you be like...I am confused by this ( name ) you left me, and I forgive you for that part, but the part I don't get is why you are still texting me. I like to talk to you when you text but can you plz help me figure out what's up? Good luck Sweetie

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  • errr who is this facking batty man , get a gun and pop him man he's a bloody waste man you need to sort him out g show him whos boss and if amny back up is needed give me a bell yeah or ill come link you and ill give you thne 22 beet out yeah cause all I want is some p**** and your upset and il.l show you a good time baby I have a great big **** waiting for you gorgeous its like a wopping 22 inch and I last messred it like last year so its grown l;ike 5 inch so give me a call and ill ghive you the beet out of your life, I was once a porn star cause I had the biggest **** in the world and I still do baby ill wack you out till your pum turns blue an d you catch blue waffle

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  • you should just forget about him. he's trying to stay in contact because he doesn't want to lose you . since he hurt you should just move on with ur life.

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  • i think that next time he txts you, dnt answer him back.

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