Completely and utterly heartbroken; depression?

Anonymous
I can't even explain the situation because it brings me to tears, I don't have the energy. Me and my ex boyfriend (I've never said that before..) have broken up due to many reasons such as him not caring about me/listening and not putting in effort as well as me being too protective and insecure. However, we were together for a year and a half after being good friends for about 3 years. I love him so much words can't explain, it pains me and he is on my mind every single second. He is still my everything and without him I feel like my 'everyday' has gone. He was my everyday. I am totally destroyed, worried and deperessed. All I want to do is drink and my friends are too busy to make plans (I'm not close with my family). I have no one now he's gone, he was my life. I would've died for him, we were so close. He wanted to be free hence why we broke up.. I'm so scared he will find someone new, he seems like he can move on and talk to girls easily without hesitation.. it upsets me because I need him so badly but at the same time we aren't very good together.. I am being so selfish but I want him to be mine and only mine. I don't know what to do. I'm heartbroken, in tears all the time. Everything reminds me of him, even if it's totally random. He's in my dreams at night good and bad. He's taken over every aspect in my life, I can't concentrate on myself, I don't want to. I'm weak without him. PLEASE ANYONE help me how can I get over this? It makes me want to die, HOW CAN I GET OVER HIM//FORGET HIM? I can't live with him but my days are cold without him.
Completely and utterly heartbroken; depression?
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